9 1/2 Weeks An Erotic XXX Parody

This feature from Adam & Eve—based on the mainstream movie of the same name (starring Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger, which I proudly confess to have never seen)—is a good choice for couples since it touches on a bunch o’ elements (love, art, breakup, kink, deceit, food…though not necessarily in that order), which’ll all make our couples feel as if they’ve bitten into something with substance. But it’s really just a jacked-up jack-off flick, guys ’n’ dolls.

Story-wise, we have a big-boobed blonde babe working at an art gallery (Summer Brielle) who’s visited by a ‘mysterious’ dude (James Deen, trying his best to act), with our male lead ultimately taking our heroine down a path of kinky sensual experiences, culminating in the poor bimbo overloading on said decadence. Our stars, Brielle and Deen, actually only fuck once, at the movie’s beginning. And it’s only a fair scene because Deen pops way too soon, totally wasting Summer’s body in terms of coverage. Actually, that one’s down to our director, init? And, hey, if this ‘mysterious’ dude is supposed to be Mr. Dangerous, how come he’s wearing a rubber, anyway?

There are, however, definitely a few truly horny scenes in this one. One memorable interlude has Deen bringing Brielle to the set of a porn film, where he then has Summer give the stars—Courtney Taylor and Seth Gamble—directions: from sucking, to fucking, to spurting. Taylor, by they way, has a very tasty body and knows how to work it. Good stuffing.

The other two sizzling scenes are intercut with one another. That is, we have Deen banging Latina Nikki Delano in one room in a no-tell motel, while Brielle is getting fucked in another sleazy rat nest by Tommy Gunn and huge-titted/black-wigged/hot-assed Eva Karera (the three-way, by the way, is being filmed—yes, it’s a porn-within-a-porn scene—while a bunch o’ goobers are beatin’ off to the steamy action). Delano is a good, nasty cock-choker, really working her cute little ass when she’s getting doggie. On the flipside, Karera is passionate in a different way: exhibiting more sexual concentration (rather than Delano’s all-over-the-place wildness), but in no less a whackable manner, as she’s getting fucked from behind…when, that is, she isn’t gobbling up Summer’s succulent snatch. It’s a mistake, however, inter-cutting these two scenes, i.e., just as you’re digging one couple madly boinking, our director suddenly cuts to the other pair o’ fuck monsters. Still, the suck/fuck energy in these final two episodes is quite good, just a tad watered down by the unnecessary cutting.

All in all, “9 1/2 Weeks” is a fine feature for couples. And, in the final break-up scene, Brielle even proves that she’s quite the little actress. Unfortunately, there are way too many rubbers and fake boobs in the house.