Love Emergency

Vincent Ferarra (Tommy Pistol) is an unemployed, failed con man and med school dropout who has no viable prospects, no real vision for his future and no intentions on moving out of his mom and stepdad’s basement until he meets a gorgeous nurse named Riley (Riley Steele) whom he falls head over heels for. Unfortunately for Vincent, a con gone wrong lands him in hot water and in need of legitimate employment to avoid the slammer. Enter Vinny’s stoner, hippie friend Griff (Jake Adams), who edits his pitiful resume to land him a job … as an emergency room surgeon! Hilarity ensues as Vinny attempts to keep up the impossible charade while simultaneously pondering how best to express his true feelings to Riley.

Will Ryder is an industry veteran whose name is synonymous with parodies. In fact, some might credit him with reinvigorating the porn parody genre back in 2008 when he gained widespread acclaim for directing “Not the Bradys XXX.” Since then, Ryder hasn’t often strayed away from the parody genre, but here he does just that, offering the audience an original story while maintaining his trademark brand of comedy. As I watched this movie I couldn’t help but get very strong vibes that reminded me of his earlier works like the aforementioned “Not the Bradys XXX” and his popular follow-up “Not Bewitched XXX.” The campy dialogue was familiar, the crude jokes were in line with Ryder’s tonal voice and the running diarrhea gag smacked of his humor. It was also great to see Misty Stone seemingly recovering nicely from her real-world surgery, and the legendary Christy Canyon is always a treat to see onscreen. Plus, if you pay close attention, you’ll spot the lovely Edyn Blair in a cameo!

To bring this fun, lighthearted comedy to life, Ryder assembles a huge cast that includes a mixture of industry veterans and newcomers alike. The ensemble does a great job, anchored by strong performances from Tommy Pistol, Riley Steele and Brad Armstrong, 2020 XBIZ Best Actor, Best Actress and Best Supporting Actor nominees respectively. While we’ve seen Tommy Pistol and Frank Bukkwyd (who has a significant non-sex role in the film) play parts of this nature at a high level in the past, and both of whom are deserving of praise, a fair amount of attention should be focused on the range that both Armstrong and Adams show in this movie. Adams delivers a very strong character performance in an over-the-top role that requires a high amount of discipline to maintain, while Armstrong shows impeccable comedic timing (pay attention to how perfectly he cultivates the mood while looking for his dinner in the fridge) that we don’t often get to see from him.

There’s a lot of sex in this movie and while some of the scenes drive the story forward naturally, others are clearly just there to get more sex on the screen. For example, the pseudo-POV blowjob scene between Liv Wild and Brad Newman is quite relevant to one of the story’s subplots in which Dr. Kaz (Newman) is having his way with the nurses and needs to be replaced (opening the door for Vince’s hiring) while Savannah Sixx’s solo scene, despite being highly arousing, didn’t really add anything to the narrative other than getting the delicious Sixx naked for the audience.

Bridgette (Kenzie Reeves) and Griff get nasty in a bedroom with a heavy emphasis on POV during the blowjob. Kenzie loves talking dirty and really eggs Adams on in this scene while feeding the fantasy of the innocent-yet-nasty girl to the viewer. Kenzie is really energetic from start to finish and she really knows how to use her hips. Doggie and cowgirl are particularly nice due to her noteworthy gyrations. One slightly disappointing aspect was the fact that during the scene, the performers take the time to highlight Adams’ use of a “cock cam” but the audience never gets to see any footage from that POV. It was a curious choice to build the expectation of seeing that perspective only to not show it at all.

Another scene that’s a bit removed from the narrative of the film features Nia Nacci and Ryan Mclane hooking up in an unattended bedroom at a poolside barbecue. Ryder is clearly a fan of the POV style as he returns to those shots multiple times during this scene. Mia has amazing breasts and watching them slap against each other as Mclane rams her deserves a chef’s kiss of approval.

Riley Steele and Chad White have a naughty tryst in an empty patient room that features a fantastic visual of Chad eating Riley’s pussy as she lays side-spoon on a hospital bed allowing the audience to revel in her apple-bottom ass. Depending on your tastes, this might be the best sexual visual in the entire film. An enthusiastic ride from Riley nearly sends Chad over the edge and he ends up finishing messily all over her stomach. It’s too bad we couldn’t see more of Chad in this scene because he sounded like he was extremely into the action, but Ryder opts to keep the frame squarely on Riley the majority of the time.

Sarah Vandella and Brad Armstrong have a pretty nice scene together in which Sarah really gets a chance to show off. This is my favorite scene in the movie just because of the way the performers stay in character. As an example, at one point Sarah tells him how happy she is that they finally made time to fuck each other because it’s been too long, to which he responds that he just fucked her last night. It’s silly, but they’re silly characters so it fits them and it makes the sex feel more like the characters fucking instead of Brad Armstrong and Sarah Vandella fucking.

Scarlett Bloom and Tommy Pistol have a turn in another hospital room but the carnal factor in this scene is amped up because of the wantonness showed by Bloom. She doesn’t scream like a banshee or flail around, it’s more about how she opens herself to the sex. The way she raises her ass to meet Tommy’s pulsating cock? The way she invites Tommy to shove his fingers into her pussy while he’s fucking her? These are the subtle things Bloom does which make the entire encounter feel extra nasty. It’s good work.

Overall this is a fun movie. It’s got some timeless gags that harken back to the 2010’s age of porn parodies and in that respect, it is a very nostalgic fuck fest experience. The audience does get robbed of the opportunity to see Pistol and Steele make the sweet love (a surprising choice since the movie is centered upon their romance) but there’s plenty of high-quality sex in the movie to make up for that choice.