JOANNE CACHAPERO: Bring a pencil, Gram, 'cause you're going to school.
GRAM PONANTE: Maybe they used pencils in your day, Cha Cha, but my school was the streets, and we wrote in freedom and dance. And our desks were justice.
JC: OK, Gram. Anyway, the "Breaking Into Porn" four-disc set has to be one of the most unusual adult instructional videos of all time. It tackles a topic that you often hear about from performers — how "civilian" men who want to break into the business often approach them, thinking that all they need to do is fuck beautiful girls on-camera and they will magically gain access to the lifestyle of their masturbatory dreams, complete with 24/7 pussy-on-demand, wild orgies in Chatsworth, a complete collection of Ed Hardy couture for men and a leased Lamborghini with a license plate that reads "XXXStud."
GP: But don't get the idea that it is an angry video or that performers are allowed to feel sorry for themselves. Instead, producer and host Jack Lawrence casually and comprehensively delivers solid and practical advice for would-be male porn performers. He admits that the job is great fun.
JC: And a job it is, Gram, as you well know from your days at the top of the stud heap. The best thing about "Breaking Into Porn" is it really gives the viewer an insider's look into what industry people talk about all the time — work, work and more work.
GP: Or, more to the point, keeping the work in an industry with high turnover, threat of STDs, jealousy and paychecks you have to chase down.
JC: It's definitely not an easy job, and as the video points out, there are only about 200 guys in the world who can really do it at a professional level. Lawrence goes on about his own experiences at length, but also talks to three prominent woodsmen: Marcus London, Kurt Lockwood and Tommy Gunn. It's not often that you get to hear these guys talk, much less talk about what they go through.
GP: And Lawrence pulls off some magic here. By virtue of him being a genuinely nice and articulate guy, carefully ticking off the trials of being male talent starting with the challenges he faced himself, he takes an approach to the business that is often missing: thoughtfulness.
JC: Everything is covered here; from how much rent will cost when you move to Porn Valley, to getting your HIV/STD test for the first time, to how to be savvy and professional with coworkers, as well as hygiene — especially hygiene. You will learn more about the exchange of bodily fluids than you would in a Hazmat class.
GP: Guess I can test into my EMT program, then. Lawrence also tells newbies how to behave, and here I found the gentlemanly reality of Lawrence — the guy who helpfully wipes the cum from his partners' faces with Baby Wipes — at a disconnect with the reality of some of the bad apples in the business. Lawrence hopes to pass the torch to a new generation of performers who are more courteous.
JC: We all know there are performers that are in it for all the wrong reasons. When Lockwood talks about a situation where he refused to perform with an intoxicated scene partner, it's a real moral dilemma for him.
He also recalls an amusing anecdote about getting crapped on during an anal scene and describes it like being caught in a "torrent" — that's some interesting insight into what kind of occupational hazards a newbie performer might have to endure.
London is golden and at the height of his career, but still humble, and very articulate about how on-screen sex affects sex in your personal life.
Gunn, who is currently at the top of the list for male performers, comes across as a regular guy who is a bit overwhelmed by his superstar status.
So, where's the sex in this movie? Well, Lawrence saves the hardcore tutorial for himself and is impressive in two instructional sex scenes with Regan Anthony and Holly West, where he explains positions, how to open up for the camera and be aware of lighting, how to prepare a partner for anal sex and other scene skills ...
GP: Like how you won't need lube if you're a dazzling cunnilinguist, which is how I got this reviewer gig.
JC: Your talent is legendary, Gram — but Lawrence, who is well known as probably the best muff diver in the business, also shows amazing stamina as he talks throughout the scenes (except when he's performing oral, of course). He walks viewers through the process step-by-step and has no problem maintaining wood. I have to admit, I've got a soft spot for male talent anyway. I like men that are highly sexed, flirtatious and have big, huge dicks — all traits of a successful performer.
GP: Though Lawrence doesn't come off as cocky, "Breaking Into Porn" doesn't employ pro-wrestling-style bluster. If it did, it wouldn't be the very useful manual that it is.
In his interview with Tyler Faith, Lawrence instead admits that male performers are in the scene as "assistant directors there to make the girls look good." His approach with the video is how to do a good job, whatever one's job as male talent might entail on a given day.
JC: Sounds like you've got a soft spot for male performers too, Gram. But their importance to a production is sometimes overlooked.
"Breaking Into Porn" could have had more input from female performers about what they think of their male colleagues; Tyler's commentary adds more substance.
GP: Well, Tyler could read a Dunkin' Donuts menu and I would think it was profound. But it seemed to me that a female tit-for-tat would have required four to 12 more discs.
JC: Even if you don't want to be a porn star, I think men would find the sex tips in the video very helpful to improve their own sexual technique.
And since I think the subject matter would be fascinating to most people, I found myself wishing that the video would have been filmed as a documentary, with higher production values — but then it wouldn't be porn, would it?
GP: True, but unlike most other porn, people should keep this one.
