In an ideal world, every workplace interaction would run smoothly. Employees would communicate clearly and directly, customers would always be satisfied and challenges would resolve themselves. But reality often presents us with conflicts that test our patience, values and ability to lead — and these conflicts can feel especially pronounced in the adult retail industry, where trust and communication are paramount.
Although tough conversations can be uncomfortable, they’re also necessary, so it is important that we handle them in appropriate, productive ways that reflect our personal and company values. Fortunately, there are ways to make these conversations work for us rather than against us. Let’s consider a couple of tough conversations, how folks in the pleasure industry have dealt with them, and some tips to help folks in adult retail handle such situations in positive and productive ways.
Tough conversations don’t have to be obstacles or crises — they can be catalysts for growth, innovation and stronger connections.
Interpersonal Conflict: Sending the Right Message
When dealing with sensitive or difficult situations, communication isn’t just about finding the “right” words; it’s about ensuring your message lands with clarity, empathy and a focus on solutions. This is especially important when sharing feedback.
A store manager I once worked with dreaded having a conversation with an underperforming employee.
“I don’t want to hurt their feelings,” they confided, “but I know I have to say something.”
Their hesitation stemmed from a fear of being seen as unkind or confrontational — a common internal battle for managers and leaders. The goal, therefore, was to get the message through in a way that did not come across that way, and to make the feedback helpful rather than simply negative.
To facilitate that, we reframed the planned conversation together, focusing on specific behaviors rather than on personal traits. Instead of “You’re not doing a good job,” they practiced saying, “I noticed the last few tasks didn’t meet our expectations. Let’s discuss how we can set clearer goals moving forward.”
This approach reduces defensiveness and keeps the conversation constructive — because it’s not about tearing anyone down; it’s about building everyone up.
When they finally had that tough conversation, the employee not only responded positively but thanked them for being clear and supportive. Plus, the manager realized that their own internal conflict — the fear of being perceived as “too harsh” — was holding them back from helping their team grow.
Societal Conflict: Challenging Stigma and Misconceptions
As pleasure industry professionals, one of our biggest battles is against societal norms. Sometimes this takes the form of dealing with social media restrictions, shadow bans and limited marketing avenues. Other times, however, it can involve tough conversations with owners of neighboring businesses, disapproving people in our personal lives, or customers who struggle to overcome stigma and misconceptions around sexuality and gender issues.
One retailer shared this story: Their store was introducing a new line of gender-inclusive products. While many customers embraced the initiative, some voiced discomfort or confusion, reflecting broader societal stigmas.
The team decided to tackle this head-on by offering educational workshops and training staff to answer sensitive questions with empathy. One customer, who said they were often hesitant to shop in adult stores because too many are geared toward specific genders, attended the workshop centered on inclusivity. According to the retailer, the customer stayed behind after the workshop to say, “I’ve never felt more seen or understood in a store like this. Thank you for helping me find what I needed without judgment.”
Our industry is constantly engaged in an ongoing tough conversation about sexuality, gender and bias. By prioritizing education and inclusivity, we can make that conversation a productive and healthy one that serves and empowers our communities.
Helpful Strategies
Having productive conversations in an adult retail setting requires a balance of professionalism, openness and strategic communication.
- Encourage staff to approach conversations with empathy to create a safe, judgment-free environment, fostering trust and encouraging candid dialogue on and off the sales floor.
- Adopt weekly meetings to check in with staff, either one-on-one or as a group, to discuss goals and their thoughts on the latest toys and trends.
- Find out their thoughts on recent customer interactions and where they felt they could have done better. Getting to know your staff better is the first step to resolving conflicts.
This kind of communication can help you build a strong team and create an inclusive workplace culture that will emanate to customers.
Tough conversations don’t have to be obstacles or crises. Instead, they can be catalysts for growth, innovation and stronger connections. Imagine a workplace where employees feel empowered to share feedback openly without fear of judgment; where customers leave feeling heard, understood and excited about their purchases; and where teams navigate challenges with clarity, empathy and solutions that strengthen relationships.
Whether it’s addressing internal fears, societal misconceptions or external challenges, how we handle these moments goes a long way toward defining who we are and what we stand for. By embracing these conflicts rather than shying away from them, we position ourselves as leaders not only in our businesses but in the industry as a whole.
Tori Titus-McCrobie is the sales director of Paradise, a supplier of condoms and lube.
