So, you want to be an advocate? Well let me tell you, we need more! The problem is that when many start out, they don’t know where to go, what to do or even whom to ask. Many of us begin by accident. We find something we are passionate about, develop resources for it and then people naturally begin to refer people to us.
First, let’s define what this role is. Advocates represent, listen to, speak for and provide resources to different community groups that are usually at some sort of disadvantage. Few who end up in this position actually set out to be an advocate, but often have it thrust upon them as a result of their natural passions about things. I will use myself as an example. I didn’t set out to be an advocate. I have a deep passion for all things business and marketing. I began teaching models in our industry, and as I did, some came to me with issues. Luckily, I had amassed some resources with which to help them. This quickly began to expand over time.
I can’t stress this enough: going alone as an advocate is extremely tiring. We don’t end up in this position for a lack of empathy, which is why it is easy to lose yourself.
While it can feel amazing to help someone in need, there is an extremely exhausting side to advocacy too. It is hard to turn off the screens and notifications when you know at any moment another person might be looking for help. Most advocates feel wiped out, exhausted and alone before they realize there is a network. I can’t stress this enough: going alone as an advocate is extremely tiring. We don’t end up in this position if we lack empathy, which is why it is easy to lose yourself. Join up with a network of other advocates!
APAG Union, APAC and SWOP Behind Bars (you don’t have to be in legal trouble to get help or work with them!) are my go-to organizations as they are federally recognized 501(c)3s. They are very organized and have access to far greater resources and people than I have by myself. We are way more impactful in groups! It also means we can spread around our expertise in a way that helps more creators.
The second tip? L-E-A-R-N! Spend time talking to other advocates. Learn what rules and basic laws govern our industry. Dive into who the other advocates are and what the scope of their advocacy is. Study the backgrounds of all the companies and organizations in our industry. Who works there? How can you contact them? What are the biggest obstacles that the industry is facing? My eyes became so open and the number of models I could help greatly increased by doing one single thing: networking.
One of the most important tips that helped me a ton is to know what you are good at. I stay out of certain issues as I am not well-versed in them or they give me high anxiety. Much like when it comes to branding yourself, I suggest having key areas to focus your advocacy on. I focus on business and marketing. I bring data and statistics to the conversations and I am able to find problems/solutions using my own personal strengths. I have some legal knowledge, but I defer to those in my groups about those types of questions. I know who is good at what and who to refer people to when problems arise.
What about crisis times? Of course, if a model comes to me about a problem that needs to be acted upon now, I won’t tell them that I can’t help them. All advocates need to have action plans on how to help those models. Through the groups I am a part of, I have a set of steps for establishing what the model needs and what resources they have, and then finding local groups to get boots on ground to help them. Once we have them in a safe space, it is then that we can refer them to advocates who are more well-versed in their issues. Have an emergency plan and network in place to help you assist such models.
What about speaking and the publicity that comes with it? I am sure if you know many advocates, you have seen them appear in different interviews and articles. While this can be a benefit, I highly suggest being media-trained before you do so. Know which reporters and journalists are adult-friendly, but also know how to phrase things. This is important if you are speaking for other sex workers. Knowing who not to talk to is equally important. Many will come to you pretending to be concerned about sex workers, but with clever clipping of words they can make you seem anti-sex-work or make our jobs appear in a horrific light. I have seen many well-intentioned people be misquoted, have their words bungled or worse, be entirely misrepresented.
Okay, so let’s talk pay. There really isn’t any. The majority of advocates not only make next to nothing, but often come out of pocket to help those in need. Alana Evans, President of APAG Union, frequently fundraises for models in dire situations, and many times the lion’s share is from herself. I myself have donated far more back to sex workers in need than I have ever made selling books, consultations or subscriptions to my information and data. Advocacy for sex workers rarely comes with major donations from companies outside of our industry — and with few companies in our industry, that means the pool for funding is few and far between.
Remember that there will always be someone saying you’re not doing it “right.” One group will praise you for helping and another will tear you apart. Everyone thinks they know what “real advocacy” is, but at the end of the day, it is what is in your heart. Are you doing this because you genuinely want to help other creators? There will be people shouting you down without trying to get to know you or why you do what you do. Remember that many of them are hurting. I try my personal best not to add to that by being mean back to them but also not to let their hurtful words get to me. It is a balancing act.
Lastly, know when to take a break. It is hard to say that you can’t be there for everyone, though every single advocate I know tries. It is easy to think of what more you could have done once you are on the other side of a situation, but you have to remember that you tried where many wouldn’t. You also need to remember, and I admit this is very much the pot calling the kettle black here, that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Set boundaries for yourself. Turn your phone off at a set time and don’t check it first thing in the morning. Have days off and communicate them to your groups. Set protocol for how they can get in contact with you if you are absolutely needed. When you are “off,” be off. I struggle with this one too, but it is needed to keep you from crashing.
Advocacy is needed, and if you are interested, know that we need you! Don’t let the pitfalls and hardships dissuade you if this is your passion, but prepare for them early. There has been nothing more rewarding for me in these last four years than working with creators and helping them have a better future. Those life-changing moments are what get me up in the morning and keep me at it.
