opinion

Joanna Angel's <i>Porny Monster</i>

How many porn movies come out every month? A billion? A ten billion? That is why it is so important to have catchy titles and tasty, frank, powerful-hipped women on the cover to make people like me think, "Yes, my seed could find ample purchase there."

Joanna Angel has crafted the likes of the Cum on My Tattoo series as well as the upcoming Big Boobs Are Cool and Bangin' Bitches in the Bathroom. As I have always been an Outfield fan, she had me at Bangin'.

Porn Valley Observed operatives caught up with Angel on the set of Porny Monster, which will be released tomorrow.

GP: For the longest time you resisted your attraction to Los Angeles, saying you'd never leave New York. But now you live here.

JA: Yes, but I live on the street.

(awkward silence prevails)

GP: Oh. Does Porny Monster have anything to do with Party Monster or is it just the best title ever?

JA: It is a spoof of Party Monster. I pretty much copied it. I'm James St. James and Chapel (Waste) is Michael Alig.

GP: Chapel Waste is an excellent name. Where did you get all these people? I only know Pixie Pearl.

JA: They're all Burning Angel Girls. They're all mine. I grew them in my kitchen in test tubes.

GP: You even grew a blonde one. I didn't know that happened at Burning Angel.

JA: We have one of everything in this movie; girls of different sizes and shapes and colors. We just didn't have anyone Black. Next time.

GP: I thought you'd never ask! I would be delighted to be in your movie. Are all of these women from New York?

JA: Some of them live in New York, but they're from all over.

GP: So Porny Monster is coming out just in time for the AVN show. Is that on purpose?

JA: This is going to be a big movie. It is my masterpiece. It is the best thing I've ever done. GP: Just as long as it is not Porny Monster: Reform School Girls.

Previously: Joanna Angel's Invent-a-Lunch; Re-Penetrator re-released; Joanna Angel dislikes broccoli

See also: Burning Angel, VCA

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