opinion

The <i>Britney</i> litany

The first two Britney Rears movies featured a female African-American narrator, or at least someone who, like me, passes as black. The third features a male African-American narrator. The first two Britney Rears movies featured Jessica Sweet as Britney. The third features Hillary Scott in that role. The first two Britney Rears movies had a secretary named Lincoln and the third has a secretary named Kennedy. All the Israelis were evacuated from the first two Britney Rears movies before September 11, whereas if you watch the third movie you'll see a dead kid in the mirror. The first two Britney Rears movies fell asleep on a beach and, when they woke up, had baby spiders crawling out of their faces; you saw the third one hitchhiking, picked it up, brought it home, and then its mother said it had been dead for twenty years.

Read a review of the third one here.

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