AM

I am Your Customer: What Do I Want?

If you would like to find out what your surfers and customers are thinking and watching this will help you target what they would like without them requesting it or telling you.

I am the world's greatest porn director

Recently, having never operated a video camera before or called the shots on an adult production, I directed my first porn scene

David Aaron Clark: "I am not Phil Collins."

...but he still appears to be the hardest working man in show business. You know, that reference is almost exactly twenty years old, and refers to when Phil Collins appeared both in Philadelphia and London for the original Live Aid concerts. I better come up with some new material or outsiders will think the porn world is, I don't know, some kind of haven for losers. Let's start again. The serene David Aaron Clark writes while levitating inches above his Japanese rock garden that he is working on Azn Pop for Videoteam, Asian Fever for Hustler, an update of The Private Afternoons of Pamela Mann for VCA, Legends of the Oriental Luv Motel for Madness, and (my favorite): Volume Three of Asian Mouth Club. When asked how he keeps his energy up for his myriad Orientalist endeavors, Clark did not reply, "I eat a lot of steak, then I go out on my private water buffalo reserve for some target practice." GP: Target practice? DAC: Yes, but I use so much rocket-propelled ordinance that I very rarely hit what I want. The whiff of cordite and the hot slap of metal against meat helps keep me focused, though. GP: It's hard to reconcile the delicate directorial brushstrokes required to make Asian-inflected porn with someone who goes out and kills water buffaloes with high-caliber weapons... DAC: It's only an island if you look at it from the water. GP: What? DAC: You heard me. Pictured: Yumi and (downtown LA?)

I Am Black And Famous