BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Just like on the first day, attendees of Sex Expo NY could not get enough of the fun and informative workshops being held by some of the top experts developing and marketing pleasure products.
To start the day, Ryan, a representative from The Pleasure Chest, gave a detailed tutorial on how to have multiple orgasms.
“Orgasms can be really elusive,” Ryan began. “Let alone multiple orgasms! But, better understanding how our bodies work, as well as the different types of tissues and nerves … will help us better manipulate our bodies into doing what we want them to do!
“I do want to say it’s important to not be very ‘goal-oriented,’” Ryan explained to the crowd. “Really, when it comes to orgasms, being really stressed about getting your ultimate end goal is one way to not achieve it.
“You have to investigate! This information is going to be viral for the end product,” Ryan said, then offered the next bit of advice. “You guys have some homework tonight, it’s going to be kinda vulgar but … I want you to masturbate furiously tonight and often. I want you to pay attention … if there is only one thing that you can do to be a better lover to somebody else, or have better sex with yourself, it’s pay attention.”
Throughout the workshop, Ryan reiterated how important it is to pay attention to the cues your body, or your partner’s body, gives you.
After Ryan, CineKink transformed the Sex Expo into a mini-theater experience that delighted expo-goers. Before the show, Lisa Vandever, director and co-founder of CineKink, described the company as “an organization dedicated to the recognition and encouragement of sex-positive and kink-friendly depictions in film and television” and promoted the upcoming CineKink NYC 2019 festival, set for next March.
“Currently in its 15th season, CineKink is an annual film festival and national screening tour that celebrates and explores the wide diversity of sexuality,” Vandever said. “Works showcased by the festival range from documentary to drama, spicy to explicit — and everything in between.”
Expo-goers loved the highly enthusiastic Folsom Street Fair-inspired mini-flick, directed by Aron Kantor and featuring Broadway performer Colin Cunliffe, notorious nightlife promoter Mario Diaz, gender-queer drag queen Grace Towers, and a variety of San Francisco dancers and performers.
Once the lights had been turned back on, Carly, who runs the West Village Pleasure Chest, taught “Advanced Blowjobs.” Once again, the room was packed to the brim with eager attendees. Those that could not find a seat simply took to the aisles and planted themselves right on the ground at the front of the room.
“Before we start, I just gotta lay some ground rules,” Carly fiercely told the audience. “Don’t yuck anyone’s yum! Meaning, if I talk about something that is not interesting to you at all, don’t go ‘ugh!’ You don’t want to ruin someone else’s pleasure. You don’t want to shame anybody! We’re gonna treat this like Vegas. What happens here … stays here. Meaning, if you see me outside of Sex Expo, you’re not going to go up to me or anyone else and say, ‘Hey, did you ever deep-throat your husband’s cock?’ A little respect goes a long way!”
To add some visuals, Carly included a slideshow that detailed penis anatomy and spelled out some of her best blowjob and handjob tips. Major tips included: using the hands to create a makeshift cockring, pushing down on the shaft to indirectly stimulate the prostate, twisting your hands along the shaft, and gently grazing with the nails.
“You want to play with sensations,” Carly told the crowd. “Sometimes, all you need to do is use your palm and drag it under the head of the penis, or jerk the cock at an angle. It’ll tighten the skin, and really offer a different type of feeling.”
Up next, Babeland-sponsored workshop “Positions of Pleasure,” led by Cristina Pitter, was a hit.
“It’s important that we understand there are different genders, and different names that people use," Pitter said. "But, for this workshop, I will be using cock and pussy. Now, let’s shake things up a little bit … can you guys repeat after me? I could say these words all the time! Fuck!”
The crowd yelled “fuck!” — though not as loudly.
“C’mon, louder!” Pitter enthused. The crowd obliged. “Cock! Pussy! Asshole! Oh yeah, hit that G-spot!"
After a brief anatomy lesson, with Pitter explaining that the clitoris and penis are formed from similar tissue, she went on to say, “Remember: with penetration, you want to have a sort of come-hither motion. Have all that simulation at the front. Let’s talk about … the sidecar versus the 69. Raise your hand if you’ve ever done the 69 or have been curious about it!”
People looked at one another, and shyly — then more boldly — raised their hands.
“It’s a great position, but I also know it can be absolutely exhausting," Pitter said. "There’s a modification called ‘The Sidecar’ that means you and your partner can each be on your side, in that same ‘69’ position, but with not as much strain! Literally you just have to be on your side, and that gives you a lot more flexibility.”
Other positions included a few from “Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life,” which includes positions for body shapes of all sizes.
“I identify as a fat babe,” Pitter told the audience. “Just because we’re a bit bigger doesn’t mean we are not capable of pleasure or having access to pleasure! It’s important to remember that. You know, it’s just different for everyone, and we should have access to that information! Check it out.”
Dr. Jess, who earlier had covered “driving your lover wild,” took center stage again to talk about creating “lasting love and red hot sex.” In “Sexual Secrets of Successful Couples, sponsored by Astroglide With Dr. Jess,” she encouraged the crowd to take risks.
"Okay, so when you’re on a roller coaster ride, you’re flying through the air at 200 miles per hour … the camera’s catching you yelling, your hair’s everywhere … but you’re taking risks,” she said.
For those that did not want to take extreme risks in their relationships, Dr. Jess offered the following smaller takes: adrenaline-inducing sports, dungeon and kink parties, nude beaches, sex clubs, new toys, and lots of dirty talk! And, she added, passion does not have to be about sex all the time.
“Sixty seconds,” she said. “Sometimes that’s all you need to get that serotonin boosted.”
Her helpful “60-second favors” included chocolate on your partner’s pillow, coffee in bed, love notes, warming up someone’s socks or towel, picking up the dry cleaning — that got some hollers from the audience — neck massages, texts and sexts, plus things like running a bath or lighting a candle before sex.
Coming right after, Gigi Engle advised the audience on how best to take advantage of the toys they purchased at Sex Expo.
“The first thing to incorporating sex toys in the bedroom is to know where to shop,” Engle explained, suggesting that consumers should research the best places, such as Babeland and the Pleasure Chest, to buy their toys. “When it comes to materials, you don’t want to use anything that is porous. Anecdote time … my first sex toy was a seven-inch jelly rabbit. It had rotating beads. I swear I held onto that thing for way too long. But, it got the job done … it just wasn’t good for my body!
“So, when in doubt … always buy toys that are made from medical-grade silicone,” she added. “You’re gonna see, once you know your shit about sex toys, that certain toys will say, ‘Made with medical-grade silicone’ and Amazon will try and fuck you over by saying, ‘Made with a silicone blend.’ You always want to look out for medical-grade silicone, because that silicone is also used to make medical instruments.
“The vulva is extremely porous, so you want to be careful with what you put inside it or near it,” she continued. “Especially things that are full of disgusting chemicals that have bacteria in it. Another thing with porous materials in sex toys is that if you’re using them with multiple sex partners, you can spread STIs that way! So, not only is it terrible for your body, but you’re also risking other people’s health. That’s no bueno!”
After Engle, author, pleasure activist, Good Vibes staff sexologist and Center for Sex & Culture founding director Carol Queen presented the “G-Spot Hunting and Enjoying Ejaculation” workshop, sponsored by Babeland.
“So many people are interested in the G-spot, because they think it’s this magical button,” Queen expressed. “They think that if they hit the G-spot, it will be this major orgasm! But the reason why people think the G-spot is such a mystery is because there’s so little actual education about it.
“What’s called ‘sex education’ in the U.S. does little to improve the sex,” Queen continued. “So, many people think that vaginal orgasms are the norm. But in fact it’s not that way. Roughly 70 percent of people who identify as women don’t have vaginal orgasms ever.
“In intercoruse, the penis usually does not put enough pressure on the G-spot,” she revealed. “But you can make those special and notable feelings happen with direct stimulation. It’s easier for someone with a vagina to reach the G-spot than it would be the prostate, through the vaginal walls. At the back end where the clitoris would be, that’s the G-spot! It’s not anatomically correct, but it’s close enough!”
Next, Sex Expo-goers received the answer to the age-old question, “How to make good pussy, better.”
Taylor Sparks of OrganicLoven.com led the “bodies-on” session to an enthusiastic crowd. Again, people wedged themselves wherever they could to get a front-row seat to Sparks’s energetic personality.
After explaining a few of her favorite sex toy products, such as Touch, an automated dispensing system for warming personal lubricants and massage oils, she pulled a man from the crowd to show the audience a few moves.
Crowds of people flocked to the front of the stage, cameras out as Sparks gently laid the man down on her Throws of Passion Waterproof Pleasure Blanket. She covered his eyes with a blindfold and tied his hands to a Liberator pillow.
“So, you can use this for delicious doggy, or oral,” Sparks told the audience as she circled the shirtless man lying on the floor. “Put the pillow under your man’s hips, so now when you’re giving him a blowjob, you don’t forget the balls! They’re on the pillow, not just hanging on the bed.”
The audience could see the test subject’s heavy breathing as he waited in anticipation. Straddling the guy, Sparks demonstrated: “For men that like ladies to sit on their chest, when we sit on their face … our knees go flat! With this, there’s a spot for your knees!”
The entire audience rang out, “Yasss!”
“Getting It Dirty and Keeping it Clean” with Domina Franco, sponsored by Uvee & Vibratex, was up afterward. Franco’s important tips included:
“Following each toy manufacturer’s instructions for charging, cleaning and storing! Some toys are submersible in water, some aren’t. You don’t want to short-circuit and ruin the vibrator before you’ve even gotten off!”
“If you share toys or attend play parties, it’s best to use a condom or protective barrier. Also, not all toys are created equal in regards to quality of materials. No toy snobbery, though! We purchase what works for us physically and financially. But, special thumbs-up if your toy is made of non-porous, body-safe materials like medical-grade silicone, glass, or stainless steel!”
“When in doubt, use a water-based lube!”
To wrap up the workshop, Franco raffled off a Uvee and an opportunity to use one hour of her services, either by phone or in person.
The penultimate speaker was Ayesha Hussain, founder of TheVioletBK.com, who spoke about creating pornography from an ethical standpoint.
“The Violet is a company and space created from sex-positivity,” said Hussain. “Our mission is to break the societal taboo around sex and release people from the shame associated with pleasure and pornography through ethical, sex-positive adult imagery that emphasizes consent, female pleasure, and inclusivity.”
To create an open dialogue, Hussain started her workshop by asking people to participate in a survey. The questions consisted of, “How old were you when you first watched porn?”, “Who was the person that introduced you to porn?” and “What are your likes and dislikes about porn?” The answers were anonymous, but appeared before everyone in the audience on the big- screen TV.
Hussain asked people to break off into smaller groups and discuss their idea of porn before speaking out loud as part of the main group discussion. The results of the survey and discussion suggested that most people present enjoyed when there seemed to be a “real connection” in porn, and disliked when female pleasure was not paid sufficient attention.
To wrap up the workshop, Hussain encouraged people to seek “ethical” porn, and to look beyond the mainstream idea of porn.
Finally, enthusiastic duo Princess Cosplay and Z. Lovejoy presented “Sexploration,” sponsored by The Fetish Academy.
The tips they offered were: “Exploring can be done by yourself or with a partner. Communication and consent is always first! One way to check in is by making communication sexy — ask, ‘How does this feel?’
“Stimuli are endless!” they explained. “There’s speed, temperature play, pressure, pulsing, tickling, sucking, and licking. Kink can be anything, from bondage like handcuffs or blindfolds, to spanking/choking, pet play, roleplay, and so much more.”
But the most important thing?
“Remember to be gentle with yourself; everybody and everyone’s body is different! Open yourself to possibilities!"
For more information on Sex Expo, or the workshops, visit SexExpo.com. Stay tuned for more coverage.
