opinion

Jesse Jane Jane Calls Back

Many know Jesse Jane as a porn star, but I know her as a dear friend. We had a summer job with the Van Nuys Parks And Recreation Department digging sandboxes for deaf kids before I worked for AVN.

Back then I knew her as Jesse Jane Jane. As you can see, she adopted her middle name for her nom de porn.

She is travelling the American Southwest for Digital Playground, which pays me handsomely every time I mention that company. True to the Total Image Management Digital Playground exerts on its contract superstars, her bustier matches the couch.

JJ: We went to Albuquerque, Las Cruces, Alamagordo, and today we're in El Paso.
GP: What are you eating?
JJ: Banana puddin' with vanilla wafers.
GP: Hey, are you going to eat any of those 72-oz. steaks while you're there?
JJ: I only like steak once in a while.
GP: Tell me something no one else knows about Pirates, because I refuse to do original research.
JJ: Well, Carmen Luvana was supposed to do this scene in the ocean, but there'd been a six-foot shark sighting the day before -
GP: I was on the Indianapolis -
JJ: - so she wouldn't do it. So I volunteered to jump in the shark-infested water, and I did.
GP: Our shark.

I tell Jesse that my seventh wife, the glue heiress Mucilagia, and I watched Contract Star the night before.

GP:  - and then she said, "I'm gonna shave everything I own, come back in here, and suck you off."
JJ: I'm glad you liked it! That was the first movie they let me do that I just said, "Let me do what I want," and everybody loved it.

I hear the sound of Adella shooting Jesse Jane Jane with a dart.

JJ: Ow!
GP: Do people recognize you outside of the video store signings and adult expo appearances?
JJ: That's starting to happen a lot. We were eating at this place -
GP:  - What place?
JJ: - I think it was the Cattle Barn in El Paso? And the waitress had me sign a copy of Island Fever 3.
GP: Are you going to Teagan's baby shower?

Adella shoots me with a dart, through the phone.

GP: Ow! You're originally from Roger Clemens' Arlington, TX, right? Can you name the six flags over Texas?
JJ: State of Texas, Republic of Texas, Confederate flag, U.S. flag, France, and Mexico
GP: I keep forgetting France
JJ: Remember when we were shopping for the new DP Tonight couch and we all went to the Burbank IKEA and you bought me and Teagan all those hot dogs and Teagan was like, "This place should be called ITEAGAN"?
GP: Are you drunk? Stop making shit up! So when are you coming back?
JJ: I'll be back Saturday [today]
GP: Farewell and adieu.

Copyright © 2024 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

profile

WIA Profile: Siren Obscura

Siren Obscura grew up in Arizona, surrounded by rugged beauty and desert landscapes that she describes as having a quiet power to them. That environment strongly shaped her appreciation for contrasts and natural light, which plays a significant role in her work today.

Women In Adult ·
opinion

How to Thwart Holiday Fraudsters With Finesse

The holiday season is a prime time for shopping. Unfortunately, it’s also peak season for credit card fraud. With increased transactions both online and in-store, fraudsters have more opportunities to exploit vulnerabilities — and they are getting better at it every day.

Jonathan Corona ·
profile

WIA Profile: Rae Threat

Threat is completely self-taught. Shooting nightlife was how she learned photography and honed her skills, experimenting with ways to shoot low-light action shots without a flash. She notes that these nightly adventures also helped her acquire social and networking skills. One thing led to another, and she soon found herself working in the adult biz.

Women In Adult ·
opinion

Girlsway Celebrates a Decade of Acclaimed Sapphic Erotica

When Girlsway launched back in 2014, Bree Mills had a plan. As head of production for Gamma Entertainment, she set out to up the stakes of all-girl content with the new imprint — and to continually, proactively reinvent the brand and its offerings along the way.

Alejandro Freixes ·
opinion

TeamSkeet Debuts Swappz Channel, 'Swapception' Feature

Chief Revenue Officer Brandon explains, “The inspiration behind ‘Swappz’ emerged from a growing market demand for niche adult content that pushes boundaries and explores the taboo themes and deal-striking handshakes of swaps.”

Alejandro Freixes ·
opinion

Brittney Kade Talks Big 'Career-First' for Adult Time

Brittney Kade’s first gangbang originated as an Adult Time “Director Showcase,” a creative opportunity the production team offered to Jim Powers, one of the studio’s regular producers.

Alejandro Freixes ·
opinion

On the Set: Welcome to Adult Time's 'Futa World'

Dressed revealingly in a yellow waitress uniform, Lauren Phillips greets eager customers Hailey Rose and Chloe Surreal. On a sign announcing the grand opening of “Dick’s Diner,” the apostrophe between letters k and s bears a striking resemblance to an ejaculating penis.

Alejandro Freixes ·
profile

Hayley Davies: From New Zealand Math Nerd to Fast-Rising Adult Star

Growing up, New Zealander Hayley Davies was a proud nerd who participated in mathematics competitions against students from much higher grades. Her good looks turned out to be a kind of secret weapon, causing peers to underestimate her intellectual acumen.

Alejandro Freixes ·
profile

WIA Profile: Inka Winter

Award-winning erotic filmmaker and ForPlay Films founder Inka Winter knows what she wants her films to be, and what she doesn’t want them to be. She seeks to depict sexuality that is mindful, based in human connection and trauma-informed.

Women In Adult ·
opinion

Free Agent Auteur: Casey Calvert Expands Her Directing Horizon

Now, having brought that highly-awarded polyamory trilogy to a close, Calvert is concluding the exclusive Lust Cinema directing chapter of her career and charting a new course out into open creative waters as a free agent.

Alejandro Freixes ·
Show More