In her chrysalis, a painful metamorphosis of alchemical wizardry did writhe and shift and bend. Caterpillar dreams cried in the chambers of her heart.
And it was there, marooned by the wreckage of jagged memories and hourglass prisms slipping through riptide reflections — each bearing the warmth of familiar sunlight, yet frostier than the unfathomable depths and whirlpool wildness threatening to devour hope — that she floated in a surgeon’s needle, threading the unblinking eye of a storm.
At that moment, she became the lightning.
She struck twice.
Each flash knocked with a thunderclap, celestial arts brimming with destructive survival.
Liquid sparks of ashes aglitter in kaleidoscopic rainbows ignited, howling a song of phoenix fires that fused past comforts with present fears, that stitched future desires and worries to bone, to flesh and to sinew.
Grimacing in agony, then grinning fiercely … clenching teeth, then smiling … gasping for air, then grasping for leverage … she stretched her mind and soul and silken skin with every tattooed illustration coming to life, every muscle flexing with strength as every vessel of her hallowed, seductively gorgeous body unfurled monarch butterfly wings as red as the bloodborne rivers pouring adrenaline, oxygen and electrical confidence through every inch of her.
GoAskAlex rose up, draped in nothing but her scarlet mane, to defy existence and its limits. She ripped through the cocoon. She tore through that prison which dared promise chained damnation. She called out to all that is nature, to all that is cruel, to all that disdains our spirit with bitter gravity, with inevitable disintegration, with the unmaking fury of time and physics and biological centuries demanding their price, to all that grimly subjugates our aspirations, our flights of fancy, our deepest fantasies and our most hoarsely whispered cravings.
And the entire industry witnessed a remarkable ascendancy.
And the entire stained glass tapestry of softly powdered sunsets joined her in autumnal migration to more promising horizons, every streak of smeared eyeshadows unspooling like ribbons behind them, kites wrought from tragedy now dazzling to those below, now riveting and healing and exalting with their scarred mandalas.
They descended upon her rebirth with gloriously cathartic whooping, tens of thousands congregating at the altar of her sexual liberty, her sermons for those lost in the shadows, those banished to the edges of mainstream adult entertainment.
Now, wiser and tougher than ever, she arises as Cam Star of the Month royalty, a monarch, a butterfly and the two made one in this exclusive interview.
XBIZ: Discuss your journey into the adult industry. How did you first get started with camming and how has it changed your life?
GoAskAlex: My story is similar to most; I was working several jobs in order to make rent, when a friend suggested I become a webcam model. At the time, I had no idea what that meant, but when it was described to me as “getting naked in front of a webcam” I knew I’d be a perfect fit.
I had no concept of the many facets this work would entail, and the journey of self-discovery it would take me on. After six years in the industry, I am now well aware that this job entails more than just getting naked. In fact, I have found that relationship-building has been far more imperative to my success than nudity.
During my humble beginnings, I cammed from a shared bedroom with only a wall of scarves separating myself and a girlfriend. Between nine roommates, my internet connection was spotty at best, and even in the warmest part of Canada, it was difficult to spend my afternoons in various states of undress. From camming, I quickly branched into content-creation, and have split my focus between the two since then.
Over the years, I upgraded my standard of living bit by bit, and have slowly modernized my equipment in order to keep up with advancing technology. For the first time in my life, I am able to afford necessities like prescriptions and groceries. Using the money I earned from sex work, I have been able to put myself through driving lessons, and last year was able to purchase a hybrid car.
XBIZ: What are your main revenue streams these days?
GoAskAlex: Though I originally started as a full-time cam model, one of my aims in the past year has been to diversify my income. Because of this, my income is currently divided between OnlyFans, Patreon, ManyVids, Snapchat, MyFreeCams and one-to-one Skype shows. I find that my earning potential on these different sites fluctuates constantly, and for that reason I like to dip my fingers in several pools. This also serves as a back-up for the times when I am unable to work for health-related reasons. If I am not well enough to work, I can run a sale on not just one, but several sites. I can also cross-advertise across several platforms, meaning that faithful fans will know all of the best ways to support me!
XBIZ: Talk about your preferred cam platform and why it's your go-to site.
GoAskAlex: I’ve always been monogamous to the first cam site I streamed on: MyFreeCams. I’ve been streaming on MFC for six years as of this March, and the idea of switching to a new interface this late in the game is daunting, but that’s not the only reason I have chosen to stay; what I really love about this platform is the community.
The chatroom members that I have met through MFC have become real-life friends that I check in with regularly outside of my designated chatroom hours. These guys have been with me through thick and thin.
When I look back at everything I’ve overcome in the last six years … I can’t imagine my life without the genuine love, support, and friendship of the people who make up my chatroom. Though I have taken a slight step back from camming due to recovery from surgery (and the necessary adjustments in my personal life), I will always consider MyFreeCams home. My hope is to return to full-time camming in early 2020.
XBIZ: You've been very open about your health issues. Tell us what has led you to have an ostomy, and how you've risen above.
GoAskAlex: I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis (a colon-specific auto-immune disorder) at the age of 10, and lived for 16 years with constant bouts of ill health and hospitalizations. In April of 2019, I received the news that I would need to have my entire colon removed. In order to survive after surgery, I would require an ostomy. As I’m sure you can imagine, this news was devastating. Even for those who don’t rely on their body as a source of income, adapting to life with a permanent medical device is grueling at best. Returning to online sex-work was not easy, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t consider throwing in the towel altogether. I found inspiration in other disabled members of the community who didn’t let their physical limitations define them, and who continue to live their best sexually empowered lives. I feel strongly that disabled folks deserve representation in porn as chances are many of them are watching it.
XBIZ: Shed light on your experiences repping sex workers with a disability, both in terms of your content and your communications.
GoAskAlex: I can’t claim to represent every disabled sex worker out there — I can only speak for myself. That being said, I hope that I can use my voice to speak up for those who are unable or who do not have the same reach as myself. As a white, straight-passing cis-woman I think it’s important to be an advocate in the community, both for disabled folks and otherwise. I see it as a responsibility that we should all task ourselves with.
In terms of my content, I made a decision early in my surgical recovery to create porn without trying to hide my ostomy. There are days when I feel more comfortable with my abdomen covered (particularly during live shows, as I prefer to answer questions regarding my ostomy with careful consideration), but when it comes to my videos I refuse to hide this important part of myself. So far, my experiences filming with other models have been overwhelmingly positive. The sex-workers that I collaborate with are all open-minded, respectful and professional folks whom I pride myself in knowing.
XBIZ: To that end, talk about the ways you've sought to foster body-positivity and a sense of community with efforts such as your Disabled Sex Workers Calendar.
GoAskAlex: I’ve always considered myself open minded, but my lived experience with my disability altered my perception of beauty. It wasn’t until I underwent this radical life change that I truly understood the concept of body-positivity. I’m constantly inspired by the wide range of bodies in our industry, and want to promote folks with non-conventional bodies like my own.
The Disabled Sex Workers Calendar was an idea generated by open dialogue with members of the community, and my experiences with cyber-bullying after surgery. I want everyone to understand the beauty of their distinctive body, and in that way the focus of this project was to change the harmful narratives surrounding disabled folks and sexuality. Another aim of the Disabled Sex Workers Calendar was to promote the work of those who may be more likely to exist on the margins of our industry.
XBIZ: Share your strategy for monetizing content through a variety of platforms, like Patreon.
GoAskAlex: Like many Patreon-creators, with the recent rise in popularity of OnlyFans, I am currently being faced with the challenge of defining the difference between the two sites. Patreon has a strict non-explicit TOS, and has always been a place where I post music, art and boudoir. With so many performers promoting daily posts on their OnlyFans at such a low cost, it’s becoming increasingly difficult for people like myself to encourage pledge retention on non-explicit sites like Patreon.
Creators have to ask ourselves how we can diversify the type of media that we post on these websites, as subscribers don’t want to feel like they could get the same content elsewhere for cheaper. Consider what makes your Patreon a unique experience and how to ensure your patrons feel they are getting their money’s worth. Thankfully, I am always up for a challenge. I welcome the opportunity to re-evaluate and re-define my work. It’s counter-productive to resist change in an industry that is constantly changing. The most important thing to remember is to keep an open mind and try new angles until you find something that works.
XBIZ: How do you market yourself in a way that is authentic and helps generate revenue?
GoAskAlex: Despite it sounding cliche, the best marketing advice I can offer is to be true to yourself. The things that people see as a detriment to their success are often the unique qualities that make them shine. Rather than hiding my disability I chose to address it head-on.
As one example, I created a 45-minute-long Q&A video during which I answered questions about my ostomy submitted by fans from across the world. The video is live on YouTube, and I encourage anyone with questions about my life as an ostomate to watch it. The dialogue that this started attracted new fans who support me not only despite my ostomy, but because of it.
The events that led up to my surgery were tragic, and if I could choose to be able-bodied I would — what I do instead is market the aspects of myself that make me distinctive. In other words; I can’t change the hand I’ve been dealt, but I can choose how I play the cards.
XBIZ: Discuss one of your favorite peers and how they inspire you.
GoAskAlex: My favorite person to collaborate with is my good friend and fellow Canadian model MelodyKush (@MelodyKush on Twitter). Mel is one of the hardest working women I know in the industry, and constantly encourages me to reach my greatest entrepreneurial potential. During our last two trips together, she coached me through how to use various camera equipment and editing software. This new knowledge has provided me with additional autonomy over the work that I do.
The content we make together isn’t the only thing that makes Mel so special to me. Her ability to stay full of joy regardless of circumstance is a constant source of inspiration. Every type of sex work fosters unique challenges, one of which is the stigma we face for the career we have chosen. When I began to cultivate friendships with other industry folks, I realized the value of strength in numbers. We’re all in this together, and I like to think of myself as working alongside other sex workers rather than competing with them. The friendships I have forged in this industry are lifelong bonds that have spread far beyond the reach of my Twitter feed.
XBIZ: Any major ambitions, hopes and dreams for 2020?
GoAskAlex: For many years I’ve dreamt of creating professional quality pornography, and integrating more explicit content into my repotoire. This year I am taking a tremendous step towards that by making my first blowjob video. I always knew that I wanted to move in this direction, but it’s a consequential shift nonetheless. Though I hope to continue streaming regularly, I plan to focus much of my energy on creating new content and expanding my clip-centric fanbase. Normalizing disabilities in pornography is something that I am willing to dedicate much of my time towards, and what better way than starting with myself? On a more superficial note, it’s always been a goal of mine to win a trophy. I’m proud to have been a nominee for the XBIZ Cam Awards in 2019, and hope that with enough hard work and dedication I will be able to take home a trophy this year.
XBIZ: In what way has your relationship with your body changed since surgery?
GoAskAlex: As a woman with an illness that caused my body weight to fluctuate constantly, I have always struggled with feeling comfortable in my own skin. Part of preparing for my surgery included saying goodbye to my body as I knew it. I went as far as to hire a boudoir photographer to help me capture my body without an ostomy mere days before the operation. We focused on representing the left side of my abdomen including my belly button and hip-bones as they would be obscured by my ostomy. Hilariously enough, I realized once I was admitted to the hospital that my ostomy would actually be on my right side, rendering the expensive boudoir photos irrelevant. Somehow, the comical mistake makes me love the photos even more.
Before surgery, I appreciated the concept of body positivity as an abstract idea. After surgery, I understand it in a way that has completely shifted my perception of myself and the world around me. My idea of what is beautiful is radically different from what it was before. For years I resented my body, and in particular my abdomen. Today, I love my body more than I ever thought possible, and that includes the lifesaving equipment attached to it. Tome, my ostomy is a symbol of my strength. What could be more beautiful than that?
XBIZ: How has camming and sex work generally contributed to your relationship with your new body?
GoAskAlex: I’ve bounced back from surgery far quicker than I expected, and my work has had a lot to do with that. Within three months of the operation I was filming my first professionally produced video (and to my knowledge, the first ever explicit pornography featuring an ostomate). There are many wonderful people working to diversify pornography, meaning that a sex-positive attitude is generally well received in our community. Regardless, I was shocked when the first nude photo I posted on Twitter after surgery received over 10,000 likes.
Dressed in nothing but my ostomy, I felt more naked than ever before — but this vulnerability is where healing begins. Showing thousands of people my medical equipment and receiving staggering amounts of positive feedback has fundamentally changed the way that I perceive myself. Showing my ostomy in porn has given me more confidence than any other venture in my life. In this regard, sex work has helped me to love and accept my body in a way I never thought was possible.
