Now that 2019 is in the record books and we are at the beginning of a new decade, I wanted to skip my usual monthly article containing legal analysis and instead focus on a more practical piece. 2019 was an amazing year for so many adult entertainment business entrepreneurs but as always, there is room for improvement.
One of my favorite parts of being a lawyer is the amount of time that I get to listen to my clients (and prospective clients), about not only their legal concerns, but also their everyday business concerns and personal issues. This article is a culmination of practical pieces of advice that I’ve put together from the biggest client comments that I’ve heard in 2019.
Issue: “I’ve decided that I hate what I do or who I work for.”
Advice: Time to make a change!
First things first, making impulsive, life-changing decisions is never a good idea. If you’re feeling frustrated with your career or the people you work with, the first thing you should do is step back, take a deep breath and take a few days away from the office. After careful reflection and discussing your feelings with a trusted group of friends or advisors, if you still feel unhappy, then it’s time for a change. Life is far too short to be wasting your time away in an environment you don’t like or with people you don’t want to be around. Every industry, career and job will have its positives and negatives, but the key to having a happy and fulfilling career is to do what makes you happy.
Issue: “I love my career, but I feel that I am sacrificing my family in exchange for my success.”
Advice: Family comes first!
There is nothing more important in this world than spending time with your family and the people you love. If you truly feel that you are working too much, at the expense of your family, then the time to act is now. Your children don’t pause growing up simply because you are at work and your spouse will not wait around forever to get the attention that they want and deserve. Being successful undoubtedly goes hand-in-hand with personal sacrifices, but if you want to get on the “family first” bandwagon, then you need to schedule family time like any other crucial business meeting or engagement. Whether it’s date-night with your spouse or daddy/mommy day with your children, do not allow family time to be interrupted by anything else.
Issue: “I made some really bad money moves in 2019.”
Advice: Time for a financial advisor!
Who hasn’t made a bad financial investment in their lifetime? Nobody. Anybody who tells you otherwise is full of shit. Being smart about your hard-earned money doesn’t happen like the flick of a light switch, but takes years of experience (good and bad), education and discipline. There is no shame in asking for help and that’s why the money management business is a billion-dollar industry. The world is filled with genius financial minds who’ve spent their careers learning and teaching financial management. If you don’t have any friends or family that can recommend a financial advisor, there are thousands of research tools available online that can help you find a financial advisor that is perfect for you.
Issue: “I feel like I lost some motivation or have been procrastinating.”
Advice: Read a damn book!
A few years ago, my friend and client Stan Da Man, introduced me to the world of Gary Vaynerchuk (“Gary V.”). Since that introduction, I have read everything that Gary V. has written, and I watch his motivational clips and podcasts on a regular basis. Gary V. is not for everyone, many people find him too crass or aggressive, but his writing struck me like a lightning bolt. Regardless, there are tons of amazing authors and great books available to help you get and stay motivated. If Gary V. isn’t your particular taste try Tony Robbins, Suze Orman or Robert Kiyosaki. If motivational speakers aren’t your thing, no problem, check out the biography of Elon Musk, Steve Jobs or The Search by John Battelle for some of the most inspirational true stories you’ll ever come across.
Issue: “I feel fat or unhealthy.”
Advice: Your body and mind come first!
I used to cringe when someone used the expression “your body is your temple,” but as I’ve gotten older and have had my own share of health issues, I now realize the importance of the motto. Without a healthy body and mind you will never reach your full potential. Having a good diet, exercising (both physical and psychological) and being on top of your health is arguably the most important component of a happy, fulfilling and successful life. Medical science has never been more advanced and courtesy of the internet, with health information available at the click of a button. There are no more excuses for not taking care of yourself. If you’re worried about something or your body is suddenly changing, go to the doctor. If you aren’t feeling motivated or know how to properly work out, hire a trainer or dietician, they are everywhere.
Issue: “My friends and colleagues don’t support me.”
Advice: Get rid of them or get new ones!
Life can be hard enough dealing with the daily struggles of personal and professional advancement. What will make life even harder are the negative Nellies and unsupportive people in your life. Sometimes, these negative people are your oldest contacts or childhood friends, but that doesn’t mean that you should keep them around while they hold you back. In fact, I can guarantee you that replacing your pessimistic and unsupportive circle will not only get rid of what’s holding you back, but will probably make room for better people who will move you forward.
Issue: “I’m jealous or envious of someone else’s accomplishments.”
Advice: Focus on yourself!
Who doesn’t want a private jet or yacht? Who wouldn’t want to fly first class all over the world and stay in posh hotels? Unless you are Warren Buffett, Jeff Bezos or Bill Gates, you are always going to know someone who has more than you do or in your mind has a better life. It’s very easy to become jealous of someone else’s accomplishments and get slowed down by wasting energy thinking about how someone else was able to get a G5 before you. I’m going to save you a whole bunch of time and energy — the reason why that person has the G5 is because he/she didn’t sit around focusing on what other people had and instead focused on himself/herself. Every second that you waste in life wondering how someone else was able to accumulate wealth or things is another second that you’ve wasted potentially accumulating for yourself.
Issue: “I made a mistake and I’m stuck in a pity party.”
Advice: Your mistakes are the best education you will ever have!
Years ago, I took the position that making mistakes was a bad thing and I should be ashamed of the mistakes I’ve made. I would spend infinite amounts of time re-living my mistakes in my mind or crippled by the fear of making another mistake. I remember attending a tradeshow a number of years ago where some of the most successful business people in the adult entertainment industry stood in front of a crowd and openly and proudly talked about the mistakes they had made. These people weren’t wasting time in pitying themselves, but instead evaluated the mistakes they made, learned how and why they made the mistake and figured out how to walk away with a positive from the mistake.
Issue: “When is it my time?”
Advice: The time is now!
If you are going through life and putting all of your energy into the people around you and leaving nothing for yourself then you are on course to live a very unhappy and unsuccessful life. Regardless of what you are working on or whom you are with, you must make time for yourself. Whether you want to spend your personal time playing a sport, taking a nap, playing video games, reading a book or watching porn, your time is your time and you deserve it. Don’t feel bad about putting yourself first; you’ll have plenty of time to take care of everyone around you later on. As for anyone who tried to make you feel bad for spending time on yourself, screw them!
Issue: “Have I peaked?”
Advice: That’s true, only if you believe that!
After an amazing year or an amazing success, who doesn’t fear that they’ve reached the top of their abilities? It’s only natural to question how far you can push yourself. The mind is an amazing thing, because if you tell yourself that you have reached the top of your game or have done the best you can, then you’ll have created a mental limit. Your possibilities in both your personal and professional life are endless, so long as you continue to imagine what is possible.
I had an amazing 2019 and I hope that this article will help you achieve amazing things in 2020. If you read this article and think that these small pieces of practical advice are too obvious or you already knew them, then stop reading and go put them to work.
DISCLAIMER: This article does not constitute legal advice and is provided for your information only and should not be relied upon in lieu of consultation with legal advisors in your own jurisdiction. It may not be current as the laws in this area change frequently. Transmission of the information contained in this article is not intended to create, and the receipt does not constitute, an attorney-client relationship between sender and receiver.
Corey D. Silverstein is the managing and founding member of Silverstein Legal. His practice focuses on representing all areas of the adult industry and his clientele includes hosting companies, affiliate programs, content producers, processors, designers, developers, operators and more. He is licensed in numerous jurisdictions including Michigan, Arizona, the District of Colombia, Georgia and New York. Contact him at MyAdultAttorney.com, corey@myadultattorney.com and (248) 290-0655.
