A whirlwind romance set amidst the buzz of New York City brings together a tech guru and a dominatrix who subsequently launch their own business, capturing the hearts of the queer, sex-positive community in the process. No, it’s not the plot of the next big kinky-spy-romcom but rather, the story of Amy and Nick Boyajian, founders of the pleasure-positive online retail shop, Wild Flower Sex. After a brief courtship three years ago, the two joined forces (as Amy notes, in life and in business), starting Wild Flower Sex with nothing more than a website, a handful of wand vibes and the power of social media on their side — a truly a modern love story if we’ve ever heard one.
Now, Wild Flower Sex reaches hundreds of thousands of people who turn to Amy and Nick for tips, advice, recommendations and, of course, a healthy dose of sex ed delivered by Amy with the help of their farcical yet astonishingly accurate anatomical models.
We thought about creating a toy that could go through all of life’s transitions and then started to shape the toy around that.
Now, the darlings of the sex-posi social media space have taken the next big step in their career, launching their very own sex toy, Enby. A play on the short form of "non-binary," Enby is being touted as the first gender-neutral sex toy, designed to accommodate all persons and celebrate the many different ways people like to get off.
XBIZ sat down with Amy and Nick to discuss their first-ever original product, their journey in building the Wild Flower brand and what’s next for this dynamic duo.
XBIZ: So, let’s talk about Enby.
Amy Boyajian: Enby is our little baby. It’s funny because it’s something we’ve been working on behind the scenes for about a year now. A couple of different things just kind of came together at the right time. We started getting a lot of questions that we felt like we couldn’t answer completely, especially when it came to recommendations for a toy that could fit into a harness but that wasn’t necessarily a bullet. We also started getting requests for the best toys to bump and grind against and for toys that were able to fit between bodies that were more on the thin side and that you didn’t have to wear, like a cock ring for example. I noticed that there weren’t any toys that were specifically designed for that, let alone any kind of representation of that being a way people with vaginas masturbate. And then on a personal level, we had a friend of ours who is physically transitioning.
She came over to our house for dinner one night and was telling us about how she was going to have to throw out all of her sex toys and get all new ones and that just seemed ridiculous. We thought about creating a toy that could go through all of life’s transitions, whether they are physical ones or ones where we’re changing partners or the ways we want to masturbate. We had the idea in mind and then started to shape the toy around that.
Nick Boyajian: That’s where I came in. I’m an engineer by trade but I’ve never actually designed a product like this before. I’ve worked my whole life in tech so once we conceptualized the idea then we actually ended up designing and prototyping it in-house.
We did all of the development, just Amy and myself — all the 3D and technical design, the molding — we did literally everything. From marketing to the packaging, to the toy itself, it was just the two of us.
XBIZ: And you two are partners, correct?
Nick: We’re married.
XBIZ: How did you two meet?
Amy: I’m originally from the U.K. but I moved to California when I was a teenager and got really into vintage clothing. I traveled up and down the coast selling [vintage clothes] and eventually, that brought me to New York. A store hired me and when I came to the city, I fell in love with it. I started producing nightlife parties and a lot of queer events.
When one of them wanted to hire a dominatrix for a party, I had no concept of what that was so I went to a dungeon and when I got there I was like, “Oh, I think I can do this.” So I became a pro-Domme and did that independently for a while.
I found I was getting a lot of people who just wanted to ask me questions, so I started creating little get-togethers and workshops. At first it was people saying they wanted to learn how to be a dominatrix but very quickly I figured out that they [mainly] wanted to learn how to take control of their sex lives: how to say what they want, how to communicate with their partner, how to introduce toys. I started thinking, “How can I make this into a career?”
Nick: And that’s when we met.
Amy: It’s corny but we met and instantly hit it off. We were both in these very transitional periods of our lives — I moved in after two weeks and we were engaged within a couple of months. I’d been married before and we’d both been in other relationships but everything between Nick and me just seems to work. We’re on the same path. We understand the same things and we want the same things and so, you know, it’s not easy to work with your partner but it’s definitely very easy between us.
XBIZ: Good for you both. Not many people can mix business and pleasure.
Amy: It’s difficult in some regards because it can’t not be personal with your partner. It’s not like a light switch that we flip when we step into the office and enter “work mode,” but it also works to our advantage. We support each other in the store in the same ways that we support each other personally. Nick is more the logical engineer and I’m more of the creative “out-there” type, but we complement each other. It’s been a really positive thing for us.
Nick: I think we definitely have the right skills individually to make this business a reality, especially given that we’re an entirely independent company. Amy is a brilliant sex educator and is really great at speaking in a way that people respond to. I know how to build businesses and set up operations technology and, apparently, I know how to engineer sex toys, too. It’s pretty special to be able to work together as a team. I’m very grateful for it.
XBIZ: So having never designed a sex toy before, was there ever a point in the process where you experienced self-doubt?
Nick: Oh totally.
Amy: All the time.
Nick: The entire process was overwhelming. The very first prototype that we printed a 3D model of was just terrible and was far from something that would actually be pleasurable for anyone. In all seriousness, we didn’t know what we were doing but as it turns out, we had enough combined experience to iterate on it. I’ve always been really nerdy and I’m totally self-taught, no degree or anything. But I know how to build stuff, whether that be software or hardware. I’ve been designing and programming robots since I was a child.
XBIZ: Really?
Nick: Yeah. I have a high school diploma. Shortly after I graduated, I got lucky in that Apple took a chance and hired me. That was before the iPhone when it was just a small little computer company. They hired me to do technical work and I worked for them for five years before going into the startup world in New York. I worked for some really big companies where I learned how to scale something up very quickly and what types of challenges you run into along the way with that. I’ve been working with Google for the past few years developing the technology they use to manage their business. Basically at the same time that I started my job at Google, we started Wild Flower.
XBIZ: So how did you eventually settle on the final design for Enby?
Amy: As we were creating the different prototypes, it was essentially just Nick and me thinking, “Is this the right shape? Does this work with our bodies?” When we finally got to an iteration that was silicone and had the flexibility we wanted with a working motor, that’s when we started to give it to friends and people we knew, but there were many nights where we were like mad scientists in the kitchen mixing silicone and figuring out how it works.
Nick was Frankenstein-ing other broken sex toys that we had — taking the motor of this one, taking the battery out of that one — and kind of putting it together so we could start to come up with a concept that could work. We eventually started to hand out prototypes to friends of friends and actual customers after we started working with a factory in China that helped us engineer the final design.
XBIZ: And how has the feedback been so far?
Nick: It’s been pretty overwhelmingly positive. We definitely got some feedback along the way that helped us iterate on the design but to be honest, from the very beginning we knew we were onto something. Even when we didn’t have a toy prototyped to its full potential, people were telling us they loved it.
Amy: Since [launching] we’ve sold a couple of thousand and now Enby is at other places like SheVibe and Peep Show Toys. It’s scary to do something you’ve never done before but that was one of the times where our partnership really worked. There was a lot of us being each other’s cheerleader throughout the process. When one day Nick would have his doubts, I would be the one reassuring him and then the next day it’d be the other way around. Even though we work with sex toys and have a pretty in-depth understanding [of them], it’s very different when you’re coming at it from another angle and you’re trying to manufacture one. We really wanted to make something that didn’t piggyback off of any other ideas, so while no one said it looked like a toy they currently owned, our biggest concern was if people were going to understand it. But we’ve gotten a lot of positive comments and I especially love when people share new ways that we’d just never thought to use it. A lot of people have been sitting on it like a bicycle seat and grinding against it and apparently it’s been really great for stimulating the prostate externally.
XBIZ: Recently there’s been more of a push within the industry to start using more inclusive language and to diversify marketing campaigns — it’s something people are becoming more mindful of.
Nick: That makes us very happy because one of our main goals with Wild Flower is to push the industry in that direction. We doubted at moments whether [Enby] was something that would work outside of the context of Wild Flower. Our whole store is not gendered so it fits in beautifully on our website, but not every retailer — in fact most retailers — are like that. If you walk into whatever local store might be in your neighborhood, are they going to know how to talk about it? Are they going to know how to explain it to people?
XBIZ: It seems like everything was considered, even down to the purple and black color options. A lot of people complain about gendered toys that are only available in pink, for example.
Amy: Exactly! The black that we have is more of an ashy color, which we thought would work well with a harness or if people are going to wear it with underwear and want it to be discreet. And the purple, we just felt that it’s such a neutral color. Looking at it, I don’t associate it with any particular gender or any certain idea, it just feels accessible to everybody.
XBIZ: Between designing product, keeping up with your social media presence and day-to-day operations with the store, how do you manage everything, just the two of you?
Nick: Well we did just hire someone this past month. Our store has grown tremendously over the past quarter and literally there were not enough hours in the day to do our work and fulfill the orders that people were placing.
XBIZ: Growth is exciting, though.
Amy: Yeah it’s a good problem to have. I’m relatively frugal so I resisted until finally it was like, “Okay no, I cannot do it all.”
Nick: I think that most companies would have hired people to do a lot of the stuff we do by ourselves but we kind of have this hubris that we can do anything. The fact that we’re not “professionals” hasn’t stopped us — in fact, I think it’s kept us from hiring someone for maybe a little bit longer than we should have waited. But that kind of running lead ethos keeps us very in tune with our business.
XBIZ: So do you think you’ll continue designing and creating your own sex toys after Enby?
Nick: Yes! I don’t want to give away any details but I recently turned in my resignation at Google because I’m focusing full-time on engineering new toys for Wild Flower now.
XBIZ: Congratulations! Aside from the toys, y’all also have some popular apparel that you designed.
Amy: We’ve created a couple of t-shirts, the most popular one — our most popular item actually — being the “love yourself” design. We see that shirt everywhere and people always send us photos of it. It’s kind of a representation of who we are and the ethos of the brand.
Nick: Our customers have really formed a community of their own. We’re part of it, of course, but even if we disappeared tomorrow, a community has sprouted and people have found connections via our platform. I think wearing the apparel is a nice way to feel connected to each other.
Amy: We also get a lot of people who buy their first toys from us so [the apparel] is sometimes a good segue for them.
XBIZ: A lot of first-time toy buyers, really?
Amy: Yeah! I think having a social media presence and sometimes the t-shirts can be a way for people to dip their toes in without buying a toy straight away. If people like the message, then a couple of weeks later they’ll buy an inexpensive vibe. A lot of people who aren’t actively looking for this kind of thing will find us, get themselves a shirt, follow us, get educated on something that interests or inspires them and then they go from there.
Nick: One of the most rewarding things that comes out of the work we do is hearing from people who don’t have experience with sex toys, or with sex in general, who are finding the courage to explore because of the way we’re talking about things and the content we’re sharing. It’s nice that we’ve got the cutting-edge sex toys on our shelves for the connoisseurs, but when we get messages from people saying that they’ve never masturbated before and that they’ve just bought their first toy from us and are discovering a whole new part of themselves — that is the best part about what we do, hands down.
XBIZ: I imagine a lot of people come to Wild Flower and then stick around for some of the sex-ed content you have. How do you typically reach people with that information?
Amy: We have a couple of different ways: there’s a blog section and an education page, which is more factual how-to’s and explanations of toy materials, how to clean them and other things like that. We also have a sex Q&A where people submit questions and we create in-depth, five-to-10 minute video responses.
XBIZ: I noticed quite a few comically large penis models in some of those videos.
Amy: (laughs) Yeah that started out because I wanted something realistic but also something that felt unintimidating. A lot of the 3D models were either too small or like, weird cartoon plush dolls so I ended up making these giant papier-mâché ones. It almost became funnier when the penis is as big as me!
XBIZ: The sex Q&A, though, it’s almost like a sex-ed “Ask Me Anything?”
Amy: Every Monday night we get thousands and thousands of questions on our Instagram and I scroll through and pick about 20-30 to answer in real time. It’s nice because, as an online retailer, I can show and compare toys and talk about specific attributes of one versus the other. Aside from that, people can also get to know Nick and me a bit more personally. They ask us about our relationship and our dogs — things like that. It’s nice to feel like I’m gradually able to talk to all of these people that follow us online.
XBIZ: That’s awesome. It sounds like y’all have built quite an empire in the short amount of time that you’ve been around. How did it all begin?
Nick: We started the whole business — and I’m not kidding you — when we purchased $2,000 worth of sex toys on my Amex. I built a website, we set up an Instagram and we just went for it. We sold that inventory and then used that money to buy twice as much.
Amy: We were buying wands and maybe two other things and when we would sell them I’d order more.
Nick: For our first six months most of our inventory fit in several Rubber Maid tubs and now we’ve got a warehouse.
XBIZ: Incredible.
Nick: It’s been cool. To really build this business on nothing but our own blood, sweat and tears has been very gratifying. When we started Wild Flower, we intentionally didn’t take any money out of the store and we don’t have any investors. I know that there’s nothing responsible for what we’ve built here other than the effort we put into it because there’s nobody’s money except the money of our customers. That feels good.
XBIZ: It sounds like you’re just continuing to expand. Especially now if you’ll be developing more of your own products moving forward — it’s really exciting times ahead.
Nick: Developing the products is just kind of a dream for me personally from the nerd perspective. I didn’t realize how gratifying it would be to develop something physical like Enby that brings people so much joy. I feel like I’ve kind of awoken something in me that I want to do more of. I know we’re doing things differently in a lot of ways and I hope the industry will accept us for it. We feel pretty honored to be a part of this community of people who have the privilege to develop these products and we hope we can both inspire and learn from others to create a new, more inclusive industry.
