We've all had a first time... first time love, first time sex ("You NEVER forget the first person you have sex with" I always tell my virgin listeners and I am sure, right now, you are all flashing upon who that person was for you), and, for many of us, you remember getting your first sextoy.
If you're a retailer of these fabulous gizmos, you know you can be the person who changes lives forever for your customer by making the purchase of a first time toy a comfortable, memorable experience. I know this first hand. When I opened Grand Opening! in 1993, I didn't realize that creating a comfortable space and my love and enthusiasm of vibrators and sextoys would have such an impact on my customers. To this day, I have customers come up to me and say "I bought my first vibrator from you and I'll never forget the experience. Now I have lots of them!" Kinda like lovers, I think!
So how do you make that memorable experience in your own store? First, create a comfortable space that's inviting for EVERYONE, men, women (okay, maybe not children), for all sexual orientations, etc. (that's a whole 'nother posting for a whole 'nother time).
Let's say your customer is a woman who is visiting an adult store for the first time (yes, there are plenty of women out there like this) looking to get her first vibrator or sextoy and has no clue what she's looking for. Your customer approach should be friendly and supportive while guiding her to make her OWN choice. That's important! How to go about this? Preface your questions like this: "I'm going to ask you a few questions that you don't have to tell me your answers but just think about them... What kind of stimulation do you prefer? Inside? Outside? Either? Both? Not sure?" You'll see her thinking and sometime she'll share her information with you. Continue with "If it's outside, then a clitoral vibe will be good, like these bullet vibrators. If it's internal, then these types of vibrators would work such as the popular G Spot vibes or the more "traditionally shaped vibrators." They can also be used externally if you're not sure which kind to get OR if you like both internal and external stimulation 'cuz you'll never know what's on the menu on different nights! Also, if you just want the sensation of feeling full, dildos are great for that. Something to keep in mind is that a vibrator can be a dildo by just not turning it on, but a dildo usually can't be a vibrator, although there are many out there where you can take out the vibrator such as the Tantus line of silicone toys." Sometimes, she won't know what size to reference and I always mention "Think of a lover you've had and what size made you happy..." (Notice no gender preference there? No "what size was he?" type of thing because you never know what someone's preference is when they walk into the door).
Now this is probably THE most important thing to mention when someone is choosing ANY toy. I always say THE most important factor when buying a toy is to tell your customer GET WHAT APPEALS TO YOU VISUALLY. It's kind of like food: if you don't like what the food looks like, you probably won't want to eat it. Your friends might say "The Rabbit is my favorite toy" but if you're thinking that it might be too big or the gizmo looks like it's going to do too many things, then DON'T GET IT. It will only sit in a drawer and collect cat hair on it. By finding a toy that agrees with your eyes, it means that your body is agreeing to it too, since it will ultimately be your body using it. Your customer will be grateful for this information and guidance.
So use these tips in your brick and mortar store or if a friend asks you how to buy a vibrator or dildo. It works!
Okay, and on another front... in case you missed it, here's some good info about the ongoing "battle" between LA County health officials and those of us in the adult industry. Here's the full XBIZ report: The dirt...
And here's the JOTB: A woman goes to the produce department in a grocery store and picks up a cucumber. The clerk comes up to her while she picks one out and says "Oh, those are 75¢ each and two for $1.00." "Hmmm..." she says as she grabs a second, "I guess I could eat the other one."
How To Buy A Vibrator - A Primer for Selling to the First Timer
Copyright © 2025 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.
More Articles
Why Inclusivity in the Pleasure Industry Is More Important Than Ever
2025 has kicked off with a series of unsettling events. Tension and anxiety are high across North America as the unknown impact of tariffs, climate change and attacks on human rights loom ominously. In times of unrest, seeking pleasure is not frivolity but necessity.
Tips for Keeping the Adult Retail Trade Show Momentum Going
Trade shows are a whirlwind of energy, excitement and opportunities. You spend days on a vibrant, buzzing show floor, making valuable connections and discovering innovative and exciting new products. You spend time, energy and money to be a part of this fabulous circus.
2025's Top Tech Trends That Adult Retailers Should Know About
I just got back from the National Retail Federation’s Annual Convention & Expo, also known as “Retail’s Big Show,” where I walked the floor, sat in on key panels, talked with industry experts and influencers, and did my best to sift through the b.s. so I could report back to you all on the things you need to care about.
Understanding the Importance of Graphic Design in Sexual Wellness Social Media Marketing
In the world of social media, graphic design is more than just making things look visually appealing — it’s a vital tool in shaping and maintaining a brand’s identity. Your social media is your storefront, so aesthetics mean everything.
How Adult Retail Is Shaping Sexual Health One Customer at a Time
Remember back in health class, when they taught us about boundaries, consent and how many nerve endings are in the clitoris? Of course you don’t, because it didn’t happen. In fact, sex education is still severely lacking in much of the U.S.
Meet the Up-and-Coming Pleasure Brands of 2025
Over the past year, the pleasure industry has witnessed the emergence of new brands across various adult retail categories — brands that are now entering 2025 with ambitious goals for success and growth in their sophomore year.
WIA Profile: Nefertiti Mitchell
Local retailers are the backbone of the pleasure industry. Driven by passionate business owners who are deeply dedicated to sexual wellness, brick-and-mortar stores serve as safe spaces that uplift and delight customers — while greasing the wheels of commerce for manufacturers and distributors.
Industry Vet Mike Savage Discusses Comeback, Goals With Full Circle Distribution
"We never know where life’s going to take us,” says Mike Savage. He should know. The pleasure biz veteran, who describes himself as “a poor Irish kid from Philly,” first made his name in the adult retail biz over the course of a nearly 40-year career.
Sensually Yours Founder Shellee Rose on Boosting Sex Positivity in Hawaii
Honolulu pleasure store Sensually Yours has served Hawaii for 40 years, establishing itself as a top destination for adult products. Founder and President Shellee Rose says her most important strategy for achieving four decades of success has been prioritizing customers.
Gregory Dorcel on Building Upon His Brand's Signature Legacy
“Whether reflected in the storyline or the cast or even the locations, the entertainment we deliver is based on fantasy,” he elaborates. “Our business is not, and never has been, reality. People who are buying our content aren’t expecting reality, or direct contact with stars like you can have with OnlyFans,” he says.