opinion

Wasteland Cums On Your iPad?

Oh, what has the world come to when I have to come up with a headline like that to jump out for a click?

Well, it is what it is.

Just a quick blog post to note something of interest on how we as adult program operators need to keep up the vertical platforms for the gadget of the week. In the past 6 months, Wasteland has deployed for IPTV on the Roku box, iPhone/iPod, then the Androids. Then, after a rather pleasant 19th century-feel trip back into time for developing classic BDSM eBooks for Kindle and Nook, now we have launched a site specifically for iPad.

What is remarkable about this, is that as soon as consumers purchase one of these gadgets, they go out and buy porn for them. Shades of 1998. The difference now is that every new hardware platform gets its own video optimized for it, and a whole set of affiliate tools to promote it. Not a huge job, but interesting to see how the workflow ebbs and flows with these new innovations.

So, in all of that, there is always a Press Release to write. How does one keep making news? Here is today's attempt to attract eyeballs:



BOSTON—"Waste not, want not" are the words that Wasteland/Spicecash CEO Colin Rowntree lives by, and he’s about to put them into action once again. Apple’s newest product will land in the eagerly-awaiting hands of 300,000+ consumers on April 1. But that auspicious date also will mark the day when the iPad becomes the newest platform on which Wasteland.com will begin to distribute its award winning content—no fooling!

Having already developed unique platforms for their exclusive BDSM content on iPhones, iPods, Androids, Kindle E-books, and IPTV through the Roku box, it was only natural that Wasteland would want to instantly customize a platform for iPad users.

"We always make sure not to leave any money on the table,” said Rowntree. “Our business principles—which have allowed us to survive in this industry since its birth—dictate that we cater to each individual user and their preferred method of viewing our content. It’s as simple as that. There is a whole captive credit card-wielding audience out there already primed to enjoy what we have to offer on their shiny new iPads. As with all our vertical platform development, we will be there at the beginning with arms open to welcome these surfers on their new device."

For Spicecash.com affiliates, April 1 will also be the day when affiliates will be able to promote bdsmPad.com—Wasteland’s iPad-optimized site—by simply logging in to their existing accounts or signup as new affiliates and instantly being able to grab links and ad tools.

"The really great hidden bonus,” said Rowntree, “is that due to whatever feud there is between Adobe and Apple, iPods, iPhones and now the iPad cannot view flash, which basically means we don't have to compete with the tubes who distribute all of their content via flash."

Surfers who exclusively consume adult content on iThings will either need to pay for porn or stick to the traditional methods of attaining free porn, including through TGP's, MGP's and link lists, which tend to have the same free galleries week after week.

"This is why all our mobile products convert like its 1999, and why we are expecting the same outcome from the iPad,” Rowntree said, adding, “I highly recommend to anyone with any BDSM traffic to jump on the bandwagon and start raking in cash from this untapped market."

Affiliates can start promoting Wasteland's bdsmPad.com (https://www.bdsmpad.com) through Spicecash.com (https://www.spicecash.com) today.

************************

I am tempted to start each press release with the phrase "it was a dark and stormy night" at this point, thinking someone might catch the ironic literary "Sturm und Drang" in that. But, the machine keeps on going every dark and stormy night long, but saying "Wasteland Cums On Your iPad" to get a read. Sigh.... Emily Bronte would roll over in her grave.

And, here is the amusing part: In order to do development for the iPad, I dropped the money for one. Here is what Steve Jobs and company sent me today for shipping tracking. Note carefully the point of origin:

LOUISVILLE, KY, US 03/31/2010 1:55 A.M. SHIPMENT IS HELD TO VERIFY COMMODITY DESCRIPTION WITH THE CUSTOMER FOR CORRECT CLASSIFICATION / BROKERAGE RELEASED SHIPMENT. SHIPMENT IS SUBMITTED TO CLEARING AGENCY FOR FURTHER CLEARANCE

03/31/2010 1:36 A.M. ARRIVAL SCAN ANCHORAGE, AK, US 03/30/2010 6:50 P.M. DEPARTURE SCAN 03/30/2010 1:01 P.M. ARRIVAL SCAN GUANGZHOU, CN 03/30/2010 7:10 P.M. DEPARTURE SCAN SHENZHEN, CN 03/29/2010 2:43 A.M. ORIGIN SCAN CN 04/01/2010 4:01 P.M. BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED

Tracking results provided by UPS: 03/31/2010 11:24 P.M. ET

Okay, so my bright shiny new iPad came from SHENZHEN China?

I had visions of my precious new iPad coming from a really big, organic, natural fiber yurt outside of Cupurtino, gently cared for and hand-polished by natural breasted girls with unshaved pubic regions in tie-died sarongs, with nice young men with beards, in hemp tunics, playing "gently Johnny" on acoustic guitars as background music, sending me my iPad. But NO - UPS tells me that it came from a rat-infested Walmart sweat shop 500 miles outside of Beijing, assembled by three-fingered toothless old Chinese women at gunpoint by Halburton outsourced productivity managers. Sigh.....

So much for my boycott of Walmart!

Happy touching of screens all. I gotta get up early to test out my new platform before the Apple'istas read this on RSS and brick my new device!

Better living though chemistry,
Colin

Copyright © 2025 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

profile

Active Media Execs Discuss Specialized Approach to Sexual Stimulants Market

Active Media is the creation of CEO Richard Hall, who founded the company after many years in the adult VHS and DVD distribution sector. Hall entered the adult industry in 2004 when he found himself feeling unfulfilled in his job with the Better Business Bureau.

Colleen Godin ·
opinion

Why Inclusivity in the Pleasure Industry Is More Important Than Ever

2025 has kicked off with a series of unsettling events. Tension and anxiety are high across North America as the unknown impact of tariffs, climate change and attacks on human rights loom ominously. In times of unrest, seeking pleasure is not frivolity but necessity.

Sarah Tomchesson ·
profile

Mary Jane: Gamer, Streamer & Fav New Creator

Outside, it was a chilly January evening — but inside the Hollywood Palladium, Mary Jane shivered for entirely different reasons. As her name echoed across the historic venue, she blinked in disbelief, realizing that she had just won the 2025 XMA for Fav New Creator.

Jackie Backman ·
profile

WIA Profile: Reba Rocket

As chief operating officer and chief marketing officer of Takedown Piracy, long at the forefront of intellectual property protection in adult entertainment, Rocket is dedicated to safeguarding the livelihoods of content creators and producers while fostering a more ethical and sustainable industry.

Women In Adult ·
opinion

2025's Top Tech Trends That Adult Retailers Should Know About

I just got back from the National Retail Federation’s Annual Convention & Expo, also known as “Retail’s Big Show,” where I walked the floor, sat in on key panels, talked with industry experts and influencers, and did my best to sift through the b.s. so I could report back to you all on the things you need to care about.

Sean Quinn ·
opinion

Protecting Content Ownership Rights When Using AI

In today’s digital age, content producers have more tools at their disposal than ever before. Among these tools, artificial intelligence (AI) content generation has emerged as a game changer, enabling creators to produce high-quality content quickly and efficiently.

Corey D. Silverstein ·
opinion

How Payment Orchestration Can Help Your Business

An emerging payment solution is making waves in the merchant world: the payment orchestration platform (POP). It’s quickly gaining traction as a powerful tool for managing online payments — but questions abound.

Cathy Beardsley ·
opinion

Understanding the Importance of Graphic Design in Sexual Wellness Social Media Marketing

In the world of social media, graphic design is more than just making things look visually appealing — it’s a vital tool in shaping and maintaining a brand’s identity. Your social media is your storefront, so aesthetics mean everything.

Hannah McManus ·
opinion

How Adult Retail Is Shaping Sexual Health One Customer at a Time

Remember back in health class, when they taught us about boundaries, consent and how many nerve endings are in the clitoris? Of course you don’t, because it didn’t happen. In fact, sex education is still severely lacking in much of the U.S.

Kimberly Scott Faubel ·
opinion

Fine-Tuning Refund and Cancellation Policies

For adult websites, managing refunds and cancellations isn’t just about customer service. It’s a crucial factor in maintaining compliance with the regulations of payment processors and payment networks such as Visa and Mastercard.

Jonathan Corona ·
Show More