Monroe

Are you one of those folks who woke up next to their hyper realistic torso sex doll one morning and thought to yourself, “Hmmm, I think it may be time for more curves…,” then great news is coming your way from the trusty synthetic companion merchants at Tantaly in the shape of Monroe, the doll for those who prefer some cushion to their pushin’. Like her Hollywood Golden Age namesake Marilyn, Monroe tapers above and below a flat, athletic tummy and thin waist into a scale of sultry buoyancy that would satisfy anyone’s most pneumatic secret longings.

A sex doll for the Kim Kardashian era, Monroe is Tantaly’s crown jewel in terms of sheer bodaciousness — “if you're looking for the biggest of all, Monroe is the one for you,” said a rep.

Your new bosom buddy comes equipped with Tantaly's upgraded soft gel breasts tech “Tantabosom,” the product of countless hours spent by chemical scientists studying how to replicate the feel and elasticity of human fat. Topped by constantly erect nipples, Monroe’s breasts react to touch with a suppleness that could make Russ Meyer rise from his grave at the Stockton Rural Cemetery in San Joaquin County, California, and get working on a brand-new, 21st century Bosomania feature film. Monroe is made of TPE, which affords maximum squeezability. Although optimized, according to the Tantaly rep for “perfect spooning and daily pinching,” she also offers the usual penetrative delights of this kind of erotic aid.

“The tunnels of Monroe consist of a series of narrow chambers made up of pleasure rings, gripping nubs and ultra-tight passageways,” the rep rhapsodized, before warning penis-having users to use water-based lubricants, especially if circumcised.

Within Tantaly’s line, Monroe is curvier and taller than Badd Angel, and a definite size upgrade from Britney — which we glowingly reviewed a few months ago. Only Aurora features a longer torso, although she is far narrower and svelte. With longer thighs and upper legs than Britney, Monroe can be adjusted in multiple positions to the desired curvature. “You can bend the spine back to push the ass up further for doggystyle, or push the spine forward for enjoyable missionary,” the rep noted. And while Marilyn may have convinced the world that gentlemen prefer blondes, headless Monroe can be any shade of sexy you can imagine. A pro-level storage box is included to discreetly stow your companion away when needed. Monroe retails at almost $1,000, making it a rewarding investment only for very serious doll enthusiasts.