Fabulous Black Fattyz

I do a really bad Will Smith impersonation. Anyone who hears it says, "'That's the worst Will Smith impression I think I've ever heard." And you know what? It's pretty bad. As a matter of fact, it's just me muttering, "Aw, hell naw!" really loudly in my quaint Midwestern accent.

For the first time in my life, I did my bad Will Smith impersonation about a review when I caught the cover of this little gem.

"Aw, hell naw!" I cried out to my editor, who wasn't anywhere near me to here it. "Do I really have to review this one? Please don't make me!"

I'll be the first to admit that big is beautiful, but huge definitely is not. And that's what this disc is full of: Huge. Giant. Women. Having. Sex. Oh, God. Oh, God, help me. In the interest of editorial necessity (i.e., I needed the paycheck), I watched the whole thing.

Okay, eventually I gotta talk about the scenes, so here we go. But I'm 99% sure I'm gonna throw up at some point.

How can I say this nicely? These women look like Eddie Murphy covered in prosthetics. Ever seen The Nutty Professor?

And, for the first time ever in one of my reviews, there are no scenes I would recommend jacking off to.

The first scene features Miss Avion Promise. She walks around a pool area where a skinny pool boy is hard at work. Miss Promise finds a very sturdy lounge chair to grease herself up in. She asks the pool boy to come over and help her apply her lotion cuz she can't reach all the places herself. Nope, no surprises there.

He lotions her up and soon has his head buried in her ass. If you need a snorkle and oxygen tank, I can loan you one, sir! In the end, he's a much braver man than I am.

Starring Thick Sexxi, Cali Clark, Miss Avion Promise, Mz. Caution, and Amber Swallows.

Extras include behind the scenes, a masturbation section, trailers, slide show, and websites.