Gardener

“The Gardener” is a creepy film. Simple as that. Porn viewers in the so-called “couples” demographic will probably find it too bizarre and disturbing, since it deals with a family who doubles-up as kidnappers AND killers. That is, they eventually kill the young women whom they snatch. But there’s definitely some good sex in this Girlfriends Film, as largely provided by star Jessie Andrews. And for all of you couples out there, amidst all of its inherent weirdness, The Gardener does have a happy ending. So there.

The unsettling story concerns a control freak/sterile cuckoo (Kurt Lockwood) who runs an organic farm way out in the country, where he keeps his “flowers” or stolen chicks, abducted by his brother Neil (Alec Knight) and two sluts named Piper (A.J. Applegate) and Sally (Karla Kush), all of whom put in off-kilter performances, thus giving plenty of room for Lockwood to really overact, which he does. The inside joke (which ain’t really so inside) is that Lockwood’s serial kidnapping/snuff-‘em-as-he-calls-‘em character is called Richard Goetz. Remember Bernard “Bang! Bang!” Goetz? There ya’ go. Anyhow, Goetz’ latest abductee is Amanda (Jessie Andrews); swiped by the degenerates when she was only eight. And when the story opens, Amanda is 21, with Goetz having mindfucked the hell out of her for 13 years—and now he wants Amanda to (yikes!) have his baby. The script, penned by David Stanley, is effective in that we get more and more of Amanda’s back-story as the movie progresses. Sex-wise, two of the best scenes involve Andrews, who first takes on a pair of white-trashers (Eric John and Clover), while later providing a choice ass-fucking as she’s seriously cornholed by Alec Knight. In both sequences, the all-natural-bodied Andrews proves herself a deeply passionate girl, frequently emitting what sound like sincere gasps of pleasure…when, that is, she isn’t impressively choking on cock.

Another thumbs/dicks-up scene involves Richard and Neil taking on the next “flower”, Erica, which is a sizzler in that the latter, played by Nadia Styles, is such a greedy whore. Even though Nadia might have the only pair of bumped-up boobs in this title, she still offers up plenty of energy in her ménage-a-trois, as her deep mouth and hungry cunt get hammered silly by the lads.

Worth mentioning, too, is a three-way between Applegate, Kush, and Maddy O’Reilly, who plays Amanda’s predecessor, with our trio of girls really sinking into each other’s cunt and anus. And O’Reilly, next to Applegate, must have one of the meatiest asses in the business. Unfortunately, all three ladies never take on any cockmeat, which is a shame, what with all of that choice flesh around, just waiting to get plugged.

Yes, “The Gardener” is an off-center movie, but perhaps we need more of that in porn to necessarily shake things up. And while the movie may start out slow, give it a chance: The story builds and builds—as does the sex!