This Ain't Fast And Furious XXX

The five scenes are presented as separate stories, some of will certainly be totally incomprehensible to viewers who haven’t seen the movies…but the fucking will make complete sense! “The Meet” has Cassandra Cruz and Will Powers—both of whom are rather horrible actors—‘meeting’ up in a garage somewhere in LA, and humping on a black sofa (yeah, this one has a really big budget). Cruz has a tight, all-natural body, taking it well up the ass. And she’s the ONLY chick who takes it up the backside in this parody, so three cheers for Sandy.

Probably the steamiest scene, though, is sexy-as-hell Mischa Brooks getting banged in (yet another) garage upon (yet another) sofa by Karlo Karrera. After Mischa makes her escape on a motorcycle while being chased by cops—with the digital effects leaving much to be desired—Karlo begins getting it on with this babe while she’s still wearing her incredible black leather jumpsuit. She’s a fine cock-choker, and it’s a vision both watching her meaty ass get hammered while standing in the doggie position and bouncing upon Karlo cowgirl-style. “Fuck me as hard as you want to and as deep as you want to,” she coos in the spoon position. Definitely worthy of repeated whackings.

And, other than the way-lame ending, the other episodes are also worth checking out. “The Chase” has a horny lesbo sequence between hotties Ryan Ryans and Sasha Heart, with Ryans really slurping up Heart’s, quite obviously, tasty holes. “Laying Low” has Courtney Shay (accompanied by her ridiculous hairstyle) and Xander Corvus engaging in a spirited porking in order to prevent the two from going stir crazy while hiding out from the law. Shay has a nice little body, and Corvus ultimately shows his sincere appreciation for such by blasting boy-batter all over her juicy cunt. But the movie ends on an extremely weak note with “A Sunday Drive,” as the rather fuckable Aimee Black merely gives (the ever-returning) Xander Corvus a lazy blowjob in a moving (digitally-speaking) car. What? We cunt-clude a porn title these days with just a stinkin’ blowjob? For shame.

Still, four good sex scenes outta five ain’t bad. And if you’re having a party (with the right—or wrong, depending on your perspective—attendees), this movie might be a good background diversion. Just make sure no one gets carried away during the Mischa Brooks scene and drops a load in the guacamole dip.