opinion

Holding an Engaging Convo With Your Fans

Holding an Engaging Convo With Your Fans

Meeting new people and then having a conversation with them isn’t always easy. At times, there is that awkward silence while one or both of you attempt to wrestle your nerves and begin to have a meaningful interaction.

Trust me, we’ve all been there and done that. For the longest time, I considered myself shy. Yes, I know that sounds wild to most people who know me because I literally never shut up. But there was a time in my life when having a deep conversation was nearly impossible for me and awkward silence was my trademark. However, I got past it — and so can you. The benefits this will yield in your life, including your business life, are really significant.

The average person often gets ignored, which is why I conduct a light ‘interview’ at the beginning of every interaction, giving the other person a chance to be the center of attention.

So, here are some simple tips that will help eliminate awkward silences and make you an awesome conversationalist. Let’s break it down into a few simple principles.

BE JOHNNY CARSON

Okay, don’t literally interview people like a talk show host. But whether we’re talking about old-school legends like Carson or more modern interviewers such as Jimmy Fallon, Ashley Graham, Dax Sheppard or Jonathan Van Ness, it’s good to emulate folks who are rocking the podcaster circuit, late-night television and YouTube.

Why? Because one thing I discovered a long time ago was that most people have a favorite topic: themselves. The average person often gets ignored, which is why I conduct a light “interview” at the beginning of every interaction, giving the other person a chance to be the center of attention.

Asking some basic questions about a person’s interests, career, dreams or whatever makes sense in the  context of your conversation, and allowing them to open up a bit about themselves, is a good first step towards longer-term engagement. You may not get them to open up on the first ask, but slowly and surely, if you pose questions based on their answers and read cues correctly — some people just don’t feel like sharing, and that’s okay — you’ll soon find that they begin to speak freely about things they’re passionate about. Digitally, this can be tricky in the DMs, but it’s definitely applicable, and even more so at trade shows or get-togethers with other talent.

Once you break that ice and you make the person feel comfortable talking with you, you’ll soon find that you can achieve that relaxed flow of conversation where you’re both sharing. That sets up a good solid base for future interactions.

BE INTERESTED

Express genuine interest with active listening. I try to come in with an open mind and the belief that every person is interesting in some way — especially when you find out what they are passionate about. Sometimes you get lucky and the person has passions similar to your own.

For instance, whenever I’m in a Zoom meeting, if a dog, cat, bird or any other animal walks by in the background, I have no problem stopping the conversation and saying, “O-M-G a puppy!” Pets are wonderful, and I personally love to talk about them. I don’t mind taking that detour because most pet owners love their pets, and it’s a topic that makes them feel good. It’s a great opportunity for connection.

Another thing that unites all of us here is our line of work. Being in the adult industry, you sometimes get into hilarious conversations about some sort of on-the-job happening, and sometimes you swap stories or just have a laugh at something you could never talk about with non-porn people.

BE OPEN

Now that you’ve asked questions, gotten answers and asked follow-up questions based on those answers, you’ve succeeded at getting things off to a great start. So when that person suddenly asks you questions, guess what? You may want to answer them. And you can be open and honest just like you wanted them to be.

Honest answers and honest opinions are what lead to open discussion. If you’re constantly trying to think of an angle or constantly going by a script, you’ll end up with a very unsatisfying conversation. Further, the person you’re talking with will get the sense that you weren’t forthright with them. Remember, 99% of the time, just being yourself is the best policy.

Just be mindful of hot-button issues like politics, religion and the like, as folks may either argue with you, or become turned off and pretend to agree with you while politely finding a way to excuse themselves.

BE POLITE

Very polite! Every once in a while, you’ll be in a conversation with a person you just can’t stand. All I can advise in that situation is to ask them questions, listen to them drone on and pray that you never have to talk to them again. Ride it out. It will be over soon enough, and being polite helps you avoid making an enemy. Even talk show hosts don’t love every conversation they have.

In sum, follow the above advice and even if you don’t get your own show, you should at least become a better conversationalist, leave a good impression, make someone feel listened to and develop a useful skill for business.

Andrew Loyal is the support manager for Loyalfans, an all-inclusive fan club platform. Find him on Twitter @andrewloyalfans and contact social@loyalfans.com for promotional opportunities. Loyalfans can be followed @realloyalfans on both Twitter and Instagram.

Related:  

Copyright © 2025 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

opinion

The SCREEN Test: How to Prepare for Federal Age Verification

For those who are counting, there are now 20 enacted state laws in the United States requiring age verification for viewing online adult content, plus numerous proposed laws in the works. This ongoing barrage has been exhausting for many in the adult industry — and it may be about to escalate in the form of a potential new AV law, this time at the federal level.

Corey D. Silverstein ·
opinion

How to Master Team Dynamics for Business Success

Having the right team in place is everything. Whether getting a startup off the ground and thriving, or safeguarding an established company, the right — or wrong — people can mean the difference between a successful venture and a failed dream.

Juicy Jay ·
opinion

Eight Steps to Fast-Track AI Site Approval for Processing

Artificial intelligence is a hot topic these days. AI technology is speeding up the way we do business across all industries and offers numerous benefits, from automating processes to increasing efficiency and scalability.

Cathy Beardsley ·
opinion

How to Secure High-Risk Transactions With Network Tokenization

Ensuring the security of data as it moves through digital channels is the foundation of safe transactions, and crucial for your success. If your business can’t secure transactions, you’re exposed to myriad processing traumas.

Jonathan Corona ·
profile

WIA Profile: Reba Rocket

As chief operating officer and chief marketing officer of Takedown Piracy, long at the forefront of intellectual property protection in adult entertainment, Rocket is dedicated to safeguarding the livelihoods of content creators and producers while fostering a more ethical and sustainable industry.

Women In Adult ·
opinion

Protecting Content Ownership Rights When Using AI

In today’s digital age, content producers have more tools at their disposal than ever before. Among these tools, artificial intelligence (AI) content generation has emerged as a game changer, enabling creators to produce high-quality content quickly and efficiently.

Corey D. Silverstein ·
opinion

How Payment Orchestration Can Help Your Business

An emerging payment solution is making waves in the merchant world: the payment orchestration platform (POP). It’s quickly gaining traction as a powerful tool for managing online payments — but questions abound.

Cathy Beardsley ·
opinion

Fine-Tuning Refund and Cancellation Policies

For adult websites, managing refunds and cancellations isn’t just about customer service. It’s a crucial factor in maintaining compliance with the regulations of payment processors and payment networks such as Visa and Mastercard.

Jonathan Corona ·
profile

WIA Profile: Laurel Bencomo

Born in Cambridge, England but raised in Spain, Laurel Bencomo initially chose to study business at the University of Barcelona simply because it felt familiar — both of her parents are entrepreneurs. She went on to earn a master’s degree in sales and marketing management at the EADA Business School, while working in events for a group of restaurants in Barcelona.

Women In Adult ·
profile

Gregory Dorcel on Building Upon His Brand's Signature Legacy

“Whether reflected in the storyline or the cast or even the locations, the entertainment we deliver is based on fantasy,” he elaborates. “Our business is not, and never has been, reality. People who are buying our content aren’t expecting reality, or direct contact with stars like you can have with OnlyFans,” he says.

Jeff Dana ·
Show More