There are a lot of perks to camming, but few people talk about the toll that this jobs takes on you as a person, on your psyche and on your personal life. Not everyone understands that this job is more than just showing up, talking to people and getting undressed. That’s why we often check in with the #GirlsFromStudio20 and the #GuysFromStudio20 to help them vent about things that bother them in their day-to-day life, as well as at work. Perhaps you, dear reader, will find some cathartic release in this article! Whether it’s setting aside “me time,” seeing a psychologist or building a supportive network of colleagues and friends, be sure to take time for mental health.
Ethan Joy, the 2018 XBIZ Male Cam Model of the Year, says, “Being a cam boy is not all rainbows and butterflies as someone might think. It’s a lot of pressure from society, and besides the trolls that we fight on cam, we also need to fight them in real life. I’ve been called names so many times that I don’t even remember and to be honest, I don’t try to. It’s a lot of negativity and judgment towards this career.
We need guidance and someone to be there for us in the real world, to help us cope with problems that arise. I’ve had to deal with personal problems, with breakups and losses in my life and then had to go on cam and listen to guests call me names while I was trying to hold down my tears.
“Having a normal job, you can come home to your family and start telling them about your boss/employees, etc. But when you’re a cam model, it’s pretty hard to talk about your job without snotty comments or laughs. I’m a positive person, so I keep smiling at whatever anyone has to say about it. It’s hard not to feed the trolls as everyone has off days, but we need to ignore trolls. Cam performers are not just pretty faces, we’re badasses.”
Having a support system is important for each and every person, much moreso for a young person that started working in the adult entertainment industry. There comes a time when performers can actually end up hiding from their real lives, going on cam to talk to their members, creating their own society there with people that they feel understand them, rooting for them and loving them, thinking that they’ll find the support they need. By doing this they can risk going deeper into a pool of self-doubt and more into a made-up world, allowing depression to get the best of them and, as time goes by, being more and more detached from the real world.
“I can’t stress enough the importance of going to a psychologist,” said AvaMistique, a cam veteran. “It’s no longer a stigma nor should it ever be. This is a crazy job and you have to deal with other people’s problems on top of your own. Few of us are trained in human behavior and psychology, so of course, we tend to take everything on ourselves. When we start in the industry, most of us are really young, between 19- to 20-something and we’re just beginning to know ourselves. We need guidance and someone to be there for us in the real world, to help us cope with problems that arise. I’ve had to deal with personal problems, with breakups and losses in my life and then had to go on cam and listen to guests call me names while I was trying to hold down my tears.”
When it comes to their personal life and relationships, some performers choose celibacy, just because it’s hard to find someone that can understand the industry and the performer’s role in it.
“Most people that I meet in real life think that I’m a porn star and that I’m a beast,” said Amber Haze. “I might be, but get to know me first, don’t just assume that if I do a certain thing on cam, I always enjoy rough sex and role play. We’re humans, we still need love and I do enjoy cuddling. My last so-called relationship ended after the guy went on LiveJasmin to look for me and got crazy jealous that I was flirting with one of my members there. Of course I’ll flirt and be nice to that member, he knows me better than you, treats me better and I don’t have to pretend I don’t notice the smell of his smelly socks after a whole day in the office.”
So, no matter where you’re camming or how taboo it can be in certain parts of the world, it’s important to reach out to people that have experience in this field of work, either veteran cam girls, your trainers (if you work in a studio) or even the site’s admins.
Think of taking days off from time to time, visiting a psychologist, going to forums, going out for a night on the town and making friends. Being a cam model tends to be a lonely job, so you need to have time for yourself and some soul time.
